It Took Too Long For You To Get Back

Guess Which Kardashian Is Dating Another Hot Black Man

Ok So 14 Year Old Kendal Jenner Isn't Really Dating Anyone. But Baby Girl Is Looking Like Serious Jail Bait In These Photos For Her Portfolio. So Pedophiles Thank Her Bootylicious Sister Kim For Posting These Photos On Her Blog. She Looks Like 1/4 The Size Of Khloe.

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I Totes Have Acid Reflux

.....And All My Boyfriends Are Dumping Me. Anyway Katy Perry's Annoying Song "California Girls" Is Still Number 1 On The Charts. Whatever That Means. I Didn't Know Charts Still Existed. So Katy Has Been Bashing St. La Gagacita By Saying Her Latest Video "Alejandro" Was Some What Tasteless. “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke,” Concerning She's Engaged To Russel Brand This Seems Some What Harsh. They Make Fart Jokes To Each Other All The Time And I'm Pretty Sure His Character In "Get Him To The Greek" Was Wearing a Pope Hat. Katy Has Even Said That Even When Her Boyfriend Does It She Finds It Offense. Um Okay. So Katy & Gaga Both Went To Catholic School So They Both Know What's Okay When Using Religious Visuals, Right?


But Katy You Can Make a Cake Eater's Wet Dream In Your Video And Do Promotional Shots like THIS and It's Okay? I Would Post Katy's Video But I Hate Her Song Like Mel Gibson Loves Blow Jobs....A LOT.

She's Just Being Angie

I Used To Buy All Of Angelina Jolie's Covers Because She Used To Do & Say Whacky Shit. Like Wearing Blood, Talking About Her Knife Collection, Her Obsession with Embalming Dead Bodies And Publicly Kissing Her Brother After The Oscars. Ya Know She Was The Total Package.

But Now She's This Level Headed Mom With A Sexy Older Boyfriend. FUCKING A She's Even Speaking To Her Dad Again. We're Talking About Deep Dish Daddy Issues Here And I'm So Happy They're Talking Even Though Jon Voight Has Said Some Real Batshit Crazy Things About Her, Politics And Well Everything. Angie Has Reunited With Him After 6 Kids, The Passing Of Her Mother And The Encouragement From Her Brother. God I Wanna Just Smell Her.

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Sunday Afternoon I Noticed This Cute Blonde. She Looked Mad Familiar So I Had Asked Her a Simple But Personal Question. "By Any Chance Is Your Name Kate?" She Looked At Me a Little Perplexed And Then Smiled a Some What Shy Smile And Said "Yes". Sure Enough It Was The Infamous Kate Majors. The Temporarily Black Listed Writer Was At My Job Ordering Some Grub. She Was Really Sweet & Seemed Some What Intrigued That I Had Recognized Her All By Herself. See Ms. Majors Has Had Notorious Boyfriends In The Last Few Years. Which Happened To Get Her Fired From Star Magazine. Which Really Blows Because She Seemed Like a Nice Enough Person To Really Choose Love Over Her Career. Love Is Blind And She Happened To Make The Obviously Wrong Choice.

At The Time My Job was Packed and I Was Running Around Trying To Get Orders Ready and Still Talk To This DILF About Anchorman With His Son. I was Wearing a Silk Teal Jump Suit, Nerd Glasses and a Gold Rope Chain, Ya Know a Waitress Uniform. I Still Continued To Have Some Small Talk with Kate. I Asked If She was Still Writing To Which She Replied "I Freelance From Time To Time But Now We're Working On a Reality Show". Girlfriend Is a Pro. She Saw an Opportunity To Give Me Some Deep Dish And I Applaud You Kate. Well Played.



While I Was Packing Some Salads Here Comes In Michael Lohan. I've Seen Him Around In The Hamptons For a Few Years. He Looked Exactly How I Excepted He Would In The Summer Time. Jeans, Black Beater and Long Island Tattoos All Over His Arms.

He Had Tried To Grab My Attention Because He Had Already Got Kate Pasta From Another Place And Wanted To Know If We Could Cancel Her Order. I Said No.

Now I'll Tell You Why. A Few Years Ago I Was at 7eleven To Purchase a Burrito. I Saw Him Walk In And I Had Asked If He Was "Michael Lohan" He Said "Yes". I Drunkly Told Him How I Loved Everything He Does And Think He's The Next Sylvester Stallone. I Was Rocking My Bubble Bee Sweater And Looked Like a Yellow Riddler. Oh Yeah and It Was Like 2 AM. He Said He Liked What Was Going On With Me Too. Then Asked Me What I Was Getting And I Said "A Spicy Burrito It's Super Dope" He Smiled. Thinking I Earned His Complete Trust And Admiration I Asked If He'd Buy My Snack. He Said No To Which I Said "Wonderful" And Had Bounced Outta There Like a Newborn Baby. He Then Chased Me Down RT 27 In His Silver Mercedes.......Best Night In March Ever.

While Was Still Running The Operations Behind The Counter Kate Introduced Michael To Me. We Shook Hands And Talked About How Well I Could Multitask To Which I Said "No I'm Just Good With Me Hands". No I Told Them My Mom Owned a Thai Food Restaurant For 17 Years And That This Was Nothing To What I've Done In The Past.

After Packing Their Food I Looked Into Michael's Eyes And Told Him How I've Been Praying For Lindsay And How I Really Hope She Can Pull Through This Really Difficult Time In Her Life. How I Could Related Because I'd Been In The Clink. But Then Again Everyone I Know That's Epic Has Been To Jail Like It's Not That Big Of a Deal. "Because I Know I When I Spent That Night In Jail For Aggravated Assault. I Said To Myself "I Am Never Ever Gonna Date Rape Anyone Again" - We'll Go With An Anonymous Author On That One.

So Michael Said He Was Headed To LA On Monday To Help Stop What Was Happening. He Honestly Seemed Like a Concerned Dad. In The Past I'd Like It Was Just a Stunt. But What I could Tell From The Tone In His Voice He Was An Upset Father. Sure He May Have Made Mistakes In The Past and Wasn't Around. But Lindsay Is An Emotionally Stunted Person Abusing Drugs. Even If She Was To Be Clean Her Brain Isn't Fully Fixed From The Years Of Abuse. But Her Breast Look Amazing.

Anyway Lindsay Is Still Battling Her Addictions, The Media, The Courts and Sadly Her Dad. Coming From Someone That Lost Their Dad At a Young Age I'd Wish My Dad Would Come Back And Save Me Today. I Feel Like The Grudge She Has For Him Is Her Issues With Authority. He's One Of The Only People That Thinks She Needs Help For Her Own Good. If He Does Get a Reality Show In The Future I'd Say It's Only Because He Needs The Money To Pay Dina For Child Support And Maybe That Mystery Love Child.
But From My Short Encounter With Him and Kate on Sunday, He Seemed Like a Concerned Father and Not a Famewhore Like He Comes Off on Camera.


So Lindsay Is Going To Jail On Tuesday And I Really Hope I Can Write Her a Letter. She'll Be In Her Cell 23 Hours a Day. I Think a Letter From Me Could Be Encouraging. I Want Her To Know I Still Love Her And Want Her To Stop Pussyfooting Her Career and Her Life.


@Daddyissues & @anddyRadio Discuss the Truth about Debbies from daddy issues on Vimeo.

Bringing Hunky Back

Tonight My Favorite Men From Team Facelift Are Performing At Santos Party House. Santos Is Known To Have The Best Speaker System in NYC To Have Your Panties Blown Off of You. From Personal Experience I Can Attest This Is True.So Fat Jew, Machine & Fonda Are Killing It Tonight With Their Epic Tunes & Sweaty Sweaty Performance. I Was About To Hop on The Last Jitney When I Was Informed About Their Performance Time And Realized That I'd Probably End Up In Jail If I Went So I Opted To Stay Home and Wait When They All Come To The Tramptons This Weekend. They Know How To Make Me Melt And I Love Them Completely.

One Time I Drove All Night To Scoop Up Fonda In Northampton Mass Just So I Could Do His Laundry In The Hamptons And Gab About Tranny Hunting, His Cat Allergies And My Asianess. I'm Working On Getting My Team Facelift Tat Soon To Show The World How Much I Love My Hunks.


Team Facelift At Santos 8/6/09 from daddy issues on Vimeo.


That Video Is From Last Summer At Santos While I Was Wearing Mini Mouse Ears and Just Stopped Filming 4 Songs In To Dance Like Whacking Waving Inflated Arm Tube Man.





That Video Is The Boys Slaughtering At BB Kings Last Week. Performing Their Love Letter To Former Mayor Dinkins.

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Fonda's Hair Is Like A Warm Sunny Day In San Dieago. You Can Always Count That It'll Be Perfect And There's Never Going To Be a Bad Day. Look AT That Curl. I'm Mean Really Exam It, It's Perfectly Executed. I Asked Him Once If I Could Write a Blog Dedicated To Just His Hair, It Would Have Been Called Follicles Of Fonda. He Didn't Turn Down The Idea But Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea That I'd Watch Him Sleep So I Could Inspect His Hair. Even Though I Know He Couldn't Possibly Have Bed Hair.....Because That Would Require Sleep. So That Idea Got The Kebosh.

Machine Has The Voice Of The New York Version Of Pepe Le Pew. By Saying That He Has The Voice of Lust. Like a Snake He Hypnotizes His Prey And Strikes Before They Realized They Were In Danger To Begin With. He's a Lover But Mess With His Newports Then Your In Trouble.

There's Not Much To Say About Fatty. Except He Smells Like Old Cheap Whiskey, Cigarettes and Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo. For My Birthday I Organized Five 18 Year Old Babes To Shave And Shampoo Him In My Basement. I'll Let You Assume For Yourself On What Happened That Night.


People Say They're Legends in the Making. If You Knew Them, You'd Know That Everything They Do Is Legendary. Ain't No Half Steppin' With Them.