Showing posts with label Hunks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hunks. Show all posts

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Fat Jew X Le Panda












The Very Sexy Clayton Woodley AKA Le Panda Took Some Extremely Saucy Photos Of The Uncomparable Fat Jew....Breathtaking. 





Bowling Is The Only Sport You Can Eat And Drink Beer During The Game.


Elegant, Masculine, Delicate Yet Forceful. Love It.


After A Few Kiddie Meals It's Always Important To Do Some Nitrus.
ZEBRA

"GIRL DON'T BE SHY"-TEAM FACELIFT

Breaking NEWS!



Monday, February 13, 2012

I Have Terrible Taste: Men Vol 1



I've Been Told By Everyone I've Ever Discussed My Love Life With That I Make Terrible Choices For Myself. I Don't Know What's More Obvious, I'm A Fag Hag Or That Charlie Sheen And I Desperately Need To Go Rehab.

I'm Compiling A List Of Actors, Characters And Artist That Get Me Going. I Should Warn You That I'm A Total Creep And Attract  The Creepiest Creepsters Around. It's Like I'm New Girl At Your Middle School And You Wanna Finger Blast Me Or Fight Me. Luckily For You I Want BOTHHHHH!




So This Year's Number One Canidate For Worst Crush Goes To American Horror Story's Own Tate Langdon. Tate Is A Psychopath, Serial Killing Rapist. What Can I Say Besides The Fact That I Love Him. I Want Him To Be In Love With Me And Lock Me Up In His Murder Castle.




He's Complex Mommy Issues Only Make Me Want To Hold Him More. Like Somehow I Could Fix Him, That My Heart Could Fix Everything That's Fucked Up In His Head. He's Like That Dog The Sleeps At The Junkyard To Protect All The Secrets Inside. He's Tough, Misunderstood And Just Needs The Right Female To Take Him Home And Cuddle With Him. Sure He's Killed A Gay Couple In 2009, Killed 15 Students At His School In 1995 And Dumped Gasoline All Over His Mother's Boyfriend And Threw A Lit Match At Him. But Doesn't This All Just Scream....Mom Please Stop Being A Selfish Bitch And Love Me?



Sure Evan Peters The Actor That Plays Tate Is Adorable. I Don't Love Evan. I Love Tate. He's Dangerous,Impulsive, Has No Remorse For The Horrorable Things He's Committed Alive And Dead And He's In Love With Someone Named Violet.

Violet Is A Pet Name My Ex Gave Me From The Movie Pretty Baby. Which Is About A Baby Prostitute In New Orleans That Ends Up Marrying An Older Photographer. Violet Is 9 Years Old And Her Husband Is In His Late 30's. My Ex Was In His 40's And I Just Had Turned 21.

But Tate Only Committed Majority Of His Crimes Out Of Uncontrollable Hormones And Evil Sprites That  Fuck With His Head. UGH I Wouldn't Mind If He Fucked My Head.

Terrible Crush Number 2 Has To Be Paul Bernardo. I Figure I'm Already Talking About A Fictional Seriel Killer I Should Talk About A Real One I'm Obsessed With.

Paul And His Wife Karla Committed 2 Terrible Murders And 1 Accidental Death Of Karla's Sister.
Paul Looks Like A Combo Of Emmett Shine And Zach Morris. Not Only Was Paul Smart, Sexual Demon, And Killer But He Committed Over 30 Rapes In Scarsborugh. Paul Evated Capture For Many Years By Playing It Cool And Turning Karla Into His Sexual Slave Assistant.

Karla Was Seduced By Paul's Charm And Big City Image, Soon After Donating His DNA Sample He Dipped Outta Scarborough And Moved Into Karla's Home With Her Parents And Little Sister. After A Few Months Paul Let's Karla Know He Was In Fact The Scarsborough Rapist Because The Media Totally Had His Sketch And All Of Paul's Friends Would Joke About Him Being In Fact The Rapist.

Karla Being The Dumb Whore That She Was At Age 17 Was Totes Down With Paul Being A Rapist And Manilupalator. When It Came To The Point Paul Had Asked If He Could Rape Her Little Sister Karla Didn't Even Bat An Eye...She Participated. Stealing Drugs From The Vet's Office She Worked At She Drugged And Raped Her Sister Along With Mr. Bernardo. Oh Did I Mention They Video Taped It? Like With One Of Those 20 LB Video Cameras That HAD To Be Mounted On A Tripod.

Karla Being The Vet Tech Should Have Known What She Was Doing, But I Personally Think She Didn't Care About The Situation And Overdosed Her Sister. Paul Being Freaked Out Called 911.

BLah Blah Blah Karla And Paul Get Married. Kill 1 Teen Disember Her Body And Dispose Her Parts In Concrete Blocks Around The River Banks Near Niagra Falls......Several Weeks Later While Away On Their Honey Moon The Body Parts Are Discovered.

Being The Man That He Is Paul Blames Karla For Not Knowing The Waterlevels Shift. To Make It Up To Paul, Karla Helps Him Abduct Another Teen Girl From A Church Parking Lot In Broad Day Light....

The Cockiness Of This Whole Story Makes Me So Uneasy. That Sucha Confident Man  That Was Extremely Well Liked By Other Like Minded Professionals Was So Evil.

He Appreciated Karla's Efforts, After Another Girl Went Missing And Discovered....Paul Was Furious With Karla's Lack Of Perfection With Disposing The Bodies He Turned He's Hatred Of Women On To Karla. Her Complete Submission To Him Proved His Point That Women Were Nothing But Whores. Sick I Know.


After Karla Escaped Paul's Wrath In Their Little Death Cottage She Went To The Police. Covered In Two Big Black Eyes She Confesses Paul Was Behind The Two Dead Teens Deaths. Not Only Did Karla Get A Great Deal From The Police She Stated There Were Videos Showcasing Paul's Crimes. Blaming All Of The Fault Of The Grizzly Rape And Murders On Her Spouse.

The Thing Is After 3 Months Of Searching The House The Videos Were Never Found. Karla Took An Amazing Deal For Her Parts In The Crimes...Unbeknownst To The Cops That Karla Was Very Much A Lot Part. In Fact She Got A Sexual Thrill From The Menacing Things She Did. It Wasn't Until After The Deal Was Sealed Did Karla Mention Paul Was Also Behind The Brutal Poisoning Of Her Little Sister.

Paul Panicked He Was Facing 3 Murder Charges,Countless Rape Charges In Various Counties And His Soon To Be Ex Wife Was Leaving Him To Hang....What's A Psychopathic Killer To Do? He Told His Lawyer Where He Hid The Incriminating Video Tapes....Which Were Hidden In The Ceiling Tiles In The Couples Bathroom. Pretty Sneaky Sis.

Karla's Role Was Shown To The Full Extent, But Her Deal Was Already Done. I Believe She Got 12-15 Years In Total While Paul Rots In A Canadian Prison. While Paul Still Fights For Freedom Karla Has Been Out Free, Having An "Affair" With A Model....She Got Married, Had A Baby All While Using Another Name....

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!

Don't Cry Tate...Because I Love You

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Grease Is The Word



DANNNY ZUKOOOOOOOO


I'm So Obsessed Right Now. I'm Watching The Movie After All These Little Coincidences Kept On Creeping Up Like Unsightly Razor Burns. First My Good Friend Told Me He Was Assistant Directing A Middle School Presentation Of Grease. At First I Was Really Excited I Performed The Play My Senior Year....Then After A Few Moments I Realized How Filthy The Play Is....Unwanted Pregnancies,Lying,Car Sex, Gang Dance Off Violence, Teaching Women To Be Promiscuous, Smoke And Correspond With Multiple Men Over Seas.
He Told Me That A Lot Of Material Was "Condensed" Meaning Mad Sexy Stuff Was Cut Out.


LE MIZ RAH BULLES
My Friend A Natural Performer Was Also The Teen Angel. Cutie City Right? It Made Me Remember My Days On Stage Doing The Show When On Baby Ape Son Jay Posted A Photo From The Dance Scene On The Book. Check It Out


DEAD CENTER AS PER USUAL

"Hickey From Kenickie Is A Hallmark Card." -Ka NICKS!
"The Only Girl Can Depend On Is Her Daddy"-Frenchie

"Sandy, Beauty Is Pain"-Frenchie 

"I'm A Terrific Pen-Pal: Hopelessly Devoted To Each And Everyone"-Marty...My Bitch Over Here


"She's Too Pure To Be Pink"-Rizzo



"She's Too Pure To Be Pink"-Rizzo

"Hey Do Your Folks Know I Come Into Your Room Every Night?...." -Vince Fontaine

"Marty"-M "Marty What?"-V "Marty Maraschino, You Know Like In Cherry"-M






"What's With You Tonight?"-Marty
"I Feel Like A Defected Typerwriter"-Rizzo
"Huh?" -Marty
"I Skipped A Period."-Rizzo
"Think You're P.G?"-Marty OMGGGGGGGGEEZ 

"When A Guy Picks A Chick Over His Buddies, Something's Gotta Be Wrong. Come On, Guys Let's Go For Some Pizza." -Sonny....Bros Before Hoes Is An Important Law. But I Barely Know Any Guys Or Gals That Follow It. 




LOVES IT. Grease Is The Word

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Your So HOT!

Dave Franco Is A Total Babe. I Remember When I Watched Superbad And Saw Him As The Soccer Player That I'd Totes Bone Him. I Want To Bring Him To The Bone Yard So Bad. He Almost Looks Like Every Actor That's Played Stiffler's Little Brother.  I Wanna Lick Those Perfect Eyebrows As He Motorboats My Sweet Asian Titties.




Thursday, November 18, 2010

Man Of My Dreams


Gomez Addams Is My Perfect Dream Man. He's Really Involved With His Family, He Has His Own Graveyard, Simple French Phrases Makes Him Harder Then The SATS And He's Always Dressed Like A True Hunk. Gomez Knows How To Dance,Fight And I'm Almost Positive He Could Win A Dance Off Against JT.


Not Only Is Gomez Loaded, His House Is My Wet Dream Of Secret Passages And Water Slides. Luckily For Him I'm Into Bondage And He Can Tease Me As Much As He Wants. Like Most Of My Exs He Seems Like He Hasn't Slept In Decades And Smokes A Lot. I Just Have To Learn The Tango And Kill A Lot Of Roses To Gain His Affections.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I'm DEVI!

So Bill Clinton. My Bill Clinton, Mr. President......William Jefferson Clinton.


My Future Lover.


Was Is My Hometown Of Sag Harbor This Past Sunday. Hitting Up The Golden Pear and 7 eleven For Razors. How Did I Find Out? Did He Call Me? Did He Send Me An Email? No. I Had To Read About It In The New York Post. I'm SO Miz. Does This Mean I Have To Rip Out All The Pages In My Scrap Book With My Head Glued On To Hilary's Body? While Bill Is In A Sweet Embrace With Me? Abbbb So Lutely  NOT.

Bill Just Quit Playing Games With My Heart. (Backstreet Boys Reference)

New York Girls Are Suckers For British Accents


I Can Say I've Been a Sucker For Them. I Know Other Girls And Gays That Have Fallen For a Brit Here Or There. Some Have Even Gotten Tricked By Some New Zealand Hunks Too.....But Rumor Has It The Best Brit Is Coming Back To Town. Daniel Radcliffe Is Starring In Another Broadway Show. Is His Penis In It? NO? Then I Don't Really Care....AT ALL. Back In 2008 Harry Potter Let It All Hang Out In Equus. Something About a Horse Or Horse Penis....I Wasn't Really Paying Attention I Just Had My Camera On Zoom.
But Ladies and Faggalas....Danny Boy Is Totes Single And Totes Looking To Pound Out Some American Cucina. SOOOO Get It Girls.....It's Open Season.