Crushing Hard On

I Have Terrible Taste In Men. No Seriously It's Well Documented. But I'm Crushing On Rising Internet Star Andrew Hales. His Quirkly Little LAHWF Channel Is Gaining Some Steam On Youtube. And Lemme Just Say Andrew Is A TOTAL BABEEE BONER. Love Him. He Meets ALL Of My Major Points On My Powerpoint Presentation Of Dudes I'd Bang.

• He's Tall Which Is An Epic Trait If Your Spawn Is To Become An Athlete Or Dictator. 
• He's In College Which Means We'll Both Be On Unemployment In The Near Future Or Sucking Dick For Painkillers. 
• He Awkward Passive Aggressive Temperament Seems Like It Could Translate Into The Bedroom.....Baa Chicka WHAA OMG Yes Buddha.
• Did I Mention Is Practically A Ginger? I Have A Sick Obsession With Redheads. It's Kinda The Worst Thing About Me I'm Legally Allowed To Say About Myself.
• Andrew Totes Parties Hard, His School Is In The Mountians And If My Weather Man Knows Shit About Mountainous Areas Above Sea Level Have A Lot Of Drunk Sluts On Campusssssssy.

Anyway Andrew Is A Babe And Here's My Favorite Clips Of His.

I've Been Told By Many If Not All That I'm A Creep And My Ideas Are Really Dark Or Gross. I May Not Be A Sciencist Or Tara Reid's Personal Assistant Or Anything But I Do Know Andrew Is A Stone Cold American Fox And I'm In To It. Hear Me America? I'm INTO IT. I'll Be In There Like Spanx On Oscar Night. MUTHA FUCKING DEEEEEP YO!.

I Think You Got The Wrong Car McFly!

Don't Worry Steven Tyler Is Still Laughing

I've Been Insanely Busy With My Two New Jobs To Sit And Fart Around About My Favorite Internet Cats, Critiquing Celebrities Kids Outfits Harshly And Getting Into A Serious Discussion With My Mom About What Happened To Lord Voldemort's Nose. I've Just Been Too Busy. What Can I Say? It Ain't Easy Being This Sleazy Ha. But Most Importantly Steven Tyler Has A Famous 10 Inch Penis And He's Laughing In Your Fat Face At Burger King.





Fast Forward To 17 Seconds If Your Too Busy To Watch The Whole Thing. But It's Basically My Favorite Fantasy Came Into Fruition. Steve Tyler And His Famous 15 Inch Penis Invade A Local Greasy Spoon And Does A Battle Royale With A Rap Group With Sneakers With No Shoe Laces. Or He Just Adds Feathers To Everything And Tries Seduces My 16 Year Old AZN Cousin While JLo Humps A 22 Year Old. I'm Sure Burger King Had Me In Mind When They Made This Ad. I'm Like The Major Demographic, Single, Childless Woman With Loads And Loads Of Coin Change.....Because Instead I'm Not Loving It....I Want It My WAY.

Better Yet Here's An Reel Of Steven Just Laughing. Laughing Because He Has A Famous 25 Inch Penis.