Hello My Lovlies

I've Been A Little MIA With The Internet For A Hot Minute. Don't Be Worry My Little Pretties. I Wasn't In A Bangkok Prison Learning New Crafts Like Basket Weaving. That Was The Summer Of 2004. I Did Travel A Bit. I Did Adquire Some Fantastic New Friends On The Way And Great Stories That Will Last Me Until My Two Front Teeth Pop Outta My Face From My Abusive New Girlfriend In 2032. The Way I See It.....I'll Go On A Major Rampage The Day Bill Clinton Dies. I'm Predicting He'll Die While Having Sex With Me. Please Enjoy This Little Ditty From A Very Under Rated Band Cake

Team AZN

I Have No Idea What This Song Is About But I'm A Sucker For Hot Asian Girls In Great Clothes....

Introducing FUSCHIA!

It's Hard Not To Love Manila Luzon. She's Fierce, Funny And Frank. Her Fashion Sense Is Sickening And Best Part My Girl IS AZN! Loves It. She Puts The Gay In Geisha. I've Been Catching Up On My Drag Race Lately And I Had The Great Please Of Finding The Man I'm Going To Marry. Matt Mcmanus Was One Of The Jocks That Was Transformed Into A Fishy Fishy Sister. And One Of My Favorite Heather's Was Teamed Up With Mcmanus. (I'd Let Put His Mcmanus In My Anus) HA.

So Matt My Future Ex Husband Is Really Fucking Funny. I Fell In Love The Moment He Said "Hard". Then He Continued To Make Me Scream Out Loud With His Body Language And Witty Come Backs. I Want Him To Let Me Dress In Up And Bang Me While He's In Drag. Is That A Little Too Much Info? It's Not Like I Haven't Done It Before. Stop Judging Me.

Entrances Are Everything GIRRRRRRL

I Really Loved This Episode I'm Kinda Pissed I Allowed Myself To Get So Behind On Drag Race. It's Basically My Tranny Bible. If Your Going To Learn How To Be A Fully Tucking Tran Tran Hook Hook Matt Had One Of The Best Teachers.

How Can YOU NOT FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY? He Reminds Me Of These Guys From My High School. They Were The All American Athletes Yet Were So Flipping Funny. Those Two Things Hand In Hand Make Me So Moist. Matt Is Like If Ferris Bueller And Michael Phelps Had A Buttbaby.

Lemme Just Lay Down Some Epic Shots Of Manilla Before I Leave You.

Arnold Doesn't Want You To Smoke

I Find It Surprising That Arnold Is Against This And Wants To Make It Difficult To Possess Less Than An Ounce.....Considering He Talked About Smoking Pot In His Documentary Pumping Iron.

Chocolate,Rubber Mask, And Drag Queens

This Snickers Commercial Is Nothing But C R E E P Y. Not Only Is There A Beastly Drag Queen Forcing Candies Into A Woman's Shopping Cart. I Sat On My Couch In Pure Horror When I Saw That She Had  Eaten A Child At The End When Revealing Her Midsection.



After Seeing That Snickers Commercial It Reminded Me Of This Fetish That I Heard About That's All The Rage In Asia And Has Become A Nerds Late Night Delight. I'm Not Sure What It's Called But It Involves A Rubber/Latex Mask Or Hood Of An Asian Girl's Face. The Doll Life Face Could Be Masking A Woman, A Husky Man Or Even Your Little Cousin Kathy That Shouldn't Be Webchatting On Chatroulette. There's This Aspect Of A Living Doll That Turns People On. Then There's The Whole Revealing Thing That Really Gets Some People Wet.

Dirty Sex In Public Bathrooms Is Ok In Taiwan

Phew And I Was Worried What I Was Going To Be Doing This Thanksgiving Holiday. Luckily Those Creepy Taiwanese News Graphic Designers Keep It Fresh Over There And Has Inspired Me To Get Into Animation For The Sole Purpose To Make Hardcore Porn. This Exert Is About The New Movie "The Social Network" You Know That Facebook Flick. My Favorite Part Of This Clip Besides The Dirty Raunchy Bathroom Sex Is The People "Liking" People's Status' Such Gems Like "I'm Going To Kill Myself".

Slut It OUT

The Asian Jesus Has Done It Again And Has Released His Latest Video Today On Youtube. Leather Face Has Been Laying Down The Hits With The Rest Of The Team Facelift Family. Enjoy This Gem From Our Brother!

TEAM ASIA!!!

I've Been Trying To Make This Blog For A While But Couldn't Get The Right Motivation For It. Well Today While I Was BBMing My Sister, We Talked About Our Crazy Relatives And How It's Effected Our Mental Stability. Growing Up In The Hamptons My Mom Had Her Sisters Help Out At Out Thai Food Restaurant. My Mom Is The 3rd Of 9 Children And Brought Majority Of Her Insane Family Over To The States.

My Aunt That We Call Nah Tah Helped Raise My Sister and I. She's Very Interesting To Watch, She Eats With Her Mouth Open, She Fights With Everyone And After 20 Something Years In NY She Speaks Less English Now Then She Did in 1995. She's Left At Summer Camp For 4 Extra Hours  And Burned My Food On Purpose, But I Know It Came With Love. Well As Much Love a Bitter Asian Woman Can Give Her Spoiled Half White Niece.

Then There's My Favorite Aunt Nah Gan,She Lives In Bangkok and London And Is BATSHIT CRAZY. She Looks Like The Asian Michael Jackson And Has Been Known To Dabble In Gambling,Prostitution And Heavy Drinking & Smoking. When I Was 17 I Went To Thailand Before My Senior Year. I Was Obsessed With Returning Back To School Looking Completely Different Then I Did When I Left In June. Sure Enough Nah Gan Loved The Idea And Brought Me To A Piercing & Tattoo Parlor. I Got 8 New Piercings That Trip And Right Afterwards I Got a 7 Hour Tattoo. Sure My Mom Went Into Shock And My Mother Hasn't Spoken To Nah Gan Since 2004.....She's Still My Favorite Aunt. Even If Her Nose Came Off After Deep Sea Snorkeling.

Can You Imagine Waking Up In a Foreign Country Next To an Asian Michael Jackson?

Asians Are The Bipolar Race. Either You'll Be Freakishly Hot, Smart And Into Cars. OR You'll Look Like a Gremlin With Long Eyebrows And AWFUL Teeth.

Real Talk....I'm not the only Asian Girl with Daddy Issues