Fly Friday

Lovefool

This Song Reminds Me Of The Time In My Life That True Love Could Fix Anything....I Was 9 Give Me A Break.

Thai-Tanic

Childhood Dreams

I Went To A Really Cute Elementary School In The Small Town Of Sag Harbor. Every Morning We Had Morning Sing Which Was A PTA Meeting Mashed With Seasame Street Like Activities. There Were Puppet Shows, I Learned My First Spanish Words There, I Even Impersonated Elvis With My Extremely Hot Teacher Mr. D. One Great Thing About My School Was The Presence Singer/Song Writer Rick Charette Had. Some Of His Songs Are Memorable, Even Sickenly Stuck In My Head For The Rest Of My Life. Here's One Of My Favorite Jams.....Alligator In The Elevator....Much Like Love In A Elevator By Aerosmith....A Lot Of Shit Goes Down While Your Going Up? Wait Wait A Lot Is Going Up While Your Going Down? I Don't KNOW! Steve Tyler's Penis Steve Tyler's Penis Steve Tyler's Penis!!!

My Epic Time With Kelly Clarkson

So First Off Kelly Clarkson Is The Voice Of Our Generation. Fuck Christina. If You Don't Already Know How Much I Distaste I Have For Her Here Are Some Blog Entries.....

Anyway Kelly Really Really Brought It Out. Her Band Is Fantastic And Seem Like A Great Group Of Artist To Work With. Not To Mention Cory Churko......I See You.

Kelly Has Been Getting A Lot Of Unwarranted Bullshit From The Media From Her Ron Paul Tweets To Her Weight. In All Honesty It's So Stupid And Distracting From Her Talent. But With Her New Album Coming Out Any Press Is Good Press....Girl Has Some Serious Pipes And Knows How To Keep Her Fans Happy.

Did I Mention She Sang Cee-Lo Green? OMG SHE KILLLLLLLED IT.



Yo Cory, My Man. You Are So Sexy It's Painful. I Will Destroy You. Like That Russian In Rocky 4.

I Will Make You Exotic Juices And Shakes With My Omega Juicer. I Will Make Delicious Thai Dishes For You And The Rest Of The Band....Just To Have You Seduce Me With Those Eyes And High Kicks Of Yours...




Oh And Kelly....Fabric Ceiling Condoms ARE SOOOOOO IN RIGHT NOW



Get Concert. I Think I'm Even Bigger Fan After Seeing How Comfortable Kelly Is With Her Fans. She's Def My Home Girl For Life. I Will Seriously Consider Making More Rubin Studdard Jokes Now.

When I Wake Up

Say A Pray For ME.

Dick GALORE

Some Great Dick Shots Were All Over The Internet This Year. Thanks To Websites Like IsAnyoneUp.com and WorldStarHipHop.com. We Got To See Chris Brown And Gabe Saporta. Or We Can Thank "Artist" Like Soulja Boy Twitpicing Himself.....Anyway Thanks Guys. Pete Wentz Is Nothing But Jealous.

Dirt Nasty Get It Together!

I NEED SOME HELP!!!

Did YOU CUM YET? UGH Love This Jam. Makes Me Wanna Buy Expensive Pants Just To Throw Them Off!!! I Need Some SERIOUS HELP!...So Hot. Moist Even.

Speak Before You Think

I'm Feeling This Cover Real Hard. Not Only Is Kanye's Ranting Real But I Feel It. Deep In My Soul. He's A Creative Mind And Our World Has Become This Mass Of Judgement. Let The Man Create, Make Some Dough And Fantasize About Music.

Throw Back Thrusday

I Just Wanna Fucking Live....Or Die. Which Ever Gets People Off My Back. I Get A Lot Of Good Charlotte Stuck In My Head. This Girl Danielle From My Acting Class From My Senior Year In High School Loved Me. Like Wanted Me To Sit On Her Face While I Smoked A Cigarette And Jammed About    Celebrity Bullshit. She Wanted In Like Tara Reid Wants To Get Into A Las Vegas Night Club Without Having To Carry A Dvd Box Set Of American Pie.

Anyway I Know I Make Terrible Decisions. Isn't That Good Enough That I Know Before I Do It, It's Bad? I Mean I Always Thought It Was The Thoughts That Counted. Not My Actions And Bruises.

Speaking Of Bruises....I"ve Been Bruise Free For A Week....Wait A Minute. I've Been Burn Free....Okay I Am Full Of Shit.

PS Benji Madden You Can Sooooooo Tear This Ass UP!

Terrible Thursday

I Love The 90's Like Bobby Brown Misses Whitney's Money. There's Something So Delicious About Watching A Terrible Music Video. Like Whenever I See Road Kill Up Ahead On My Way To The Corner That I Hook On....I Have To Literally Press My Face To The Window And See What Kind Of Animal It Is. I Took Another Way To Work Two Days Ago And For Some Sick Reason I Got Excited When I Saw A Dead Deer And Opossum On The Same Short Stretch Of Street. Why? Because I Hate Those Fuckers.

Ever Seen A Real Live Opossum In The Dead Of Night? A Crisp Spring Night While Your Hopped On Drugs? Well Lemme Just Tell You They're Bastards. Filthy Disgusting Bastards. Like Over Grown Rat Bastards. Did I Mention They're Mean?  I Couldn't Even Imagine Seeing One Hanging Upside Down Like In The Bambi Movie. I Think I Might Just Cry Right Now Thinking About It.

So This Music Video Is Sooooo Typical Late 90's Video. The Group Is On Mopeds On Their Way To The Boardwalk. So Far So Good...Following The Formula....Wifebeaters, Carnival Lights, Jetskiis, Guys In Over Sized Sports Jerseys And Those Purple/Red Sunglasses!!! AMAZING! I Mean What Band Didn't Have A Music Video On A Boardwalk? I'm Sure Jessica Simpson,LFO And Mandy Moore Did The Same Or Similar.....



Now Don't You Feel A Litte Bit Better After Watching That? Those Infectious Beats, Those Innocent Yet Graphic Lyrics? "I Know It's Not For Me/ I'm In Too Deep/ I Missed A Miles Of Fun" Okay I Really Don't Know The Lyrics. BUT I Am A Pervert And A Lot Of My Key Words Were Being Sang. My Ears Were Literally Burning. This Bubble Gum Shit That Passed For Music In The Late 90's Makes Me So Happy. Reminds Me Of 7th Grade When I Was Sexually Frustrated, Confused Why There Was Hair Growing There And Where Is That Smell Coming From? I Wanted To Share This Beautiful Yet Extremely Awful Music Video With You. So You Can Understand The Demented Mood I'm In While I Talk To Creeps On The Internet About Their Sexual Problems. I'm The AZN Fucking Dr. Ruth Over Here.

BEARS!

This Music Video Is So Extremely Hard To FIND! Okay No It Wasn't I Just Had To Go On Some Greek Site To Find It. First Off Zebra Is A Great Band. Headlined By Randy Jackson. I Did Go To Acting School With His Son Whose Also A Great Musician As Well....

My Wife And Jeff

A Few Summers Ago I Had This Urge To Find Jamie's Dad's Band. He'd Always Talked About It In School But I Totes Thought It Wasn't This Big Deal. So I Looked Them Up And This Music Video MADE MY LIFE. I Was Probably Really High When I Found It At My Gf's House BUT I've Never Regretted It For 1 Second! OMG Please Enjoy This Video.

Rap Battling

So This Tuesday I'm Making My Rap Debut By Rap Battling At Real Quick For Fun. Which Is Going To Be An Epic Night. I'm Going To Get REAAAL Weird And All My Favorite MEN Will Be There For Hosting Duties. Check Out The Event Here. Should Be A Night To Remember Or Have The Internet Remind Me Afterwards.

I Can't Take No More

This Video Is Dedicated To Anyone That Had To Listen To This Song At The End Of Every School Dance.

17 Is Legal Right?

By The Way.....Happy Birthday Justin!

Not Only Is He Into Older Women He's Canadian. You Know What That Means Selena......HEALTH CARE!

High On Life

The First Time I Smoked Weed Was Late 2005. For Some Reason, My Gf And I Became Obsessed With Will Smith's Song And Video To His Latest Jam....Switch. It Was Iconic. And By Iconic I Mean Silly.



So Will Might Be Gay OR He Might Be Sciencitoglist. At The Time It Didn't Matter. Will Smith Was A Dying Rap Star To Us. Then He Came Out With This Jam. Being The High Folk We Were.....We Made This Our Anthem For The Summer.

The New Jessica Simpson

So I Had A Counsel Meeting With The Faggalas And Trannies. We've Ultimately Decided That This Years Jessica Simpson Award Goes To......***DRUM ROLL PLEASE***


The Chubby Remains Of Christina Aguilera.

From What I Can See She's Really Earned This Award. Not Only Has Her Marriage, Music Career And Short Lived Movie Career Have ALL FAILED. From What She's Most Famous For Has Been Coping Other Famous Woman. From Madonna, Mariah, Marilyn And A Little Unknown Singer Named Lady Gaga.

As Far As I Can See She Still Sings Exactly How She Did When She Was 9 Years Old But Now No One Is Impressed With Her Over Weight Drunk Heaving. Check Out This Clip From X Factor. After The 1st Minute Fast Forward It Towards The 4 Minute Mark. You'll See Christina Struggling To Speak As She Sweats All Over Her Interviewer. With The Wide Shots And Excellent Editting You Could Almost Pass This As A Britney Spears Music Video During The "Black Out" Days.







What's Really Fantastic Is Her Recent News Feeds. Not Only Is She Dating Some Camera Guy From Her Failure Of A Movie....How Julia Roberts Of You. She's Buying Him A New Expensive Car. Because If You Going To Be Her New Butt Boy You Need To Do It In Style.

She Also Was Found Drunk In Closeted Gay Actor Jeremy Renner’s Bed During His 40th Birthday. She Wasn't Invited, Got Sloshed And Passed Out In His Bed While Jeremy Had His Parents And Entourage Downstairs.

But My Favorite Story Is Christina Getting Into A Altercation With Fellow Castmember And Pro Activ Spokesperson Juilanne Hough. Apparently Christina Got Really Into Her Face And Grabbed Her. UGH This Is So Good To Be True. Christina Has Been Known To Be Awful Forever.

I Also Think She's Gotten So Fat She Recently Had Her Implants Removed. They Looked Really Soft And Lack Luster At The Golden Globes.....

This Video Is Amazing...Best Parts Are Towards The End When You See Her Awful Behavior For Yourself. I'm A Really Grateful Person And To See Someone So Self Absorbed Makes Her Failure So Much Better. Can't Wait Til Your The Next Sci-Fi Movie Star Of The Week Like My Girl Debbie Gibson!

Twenty 11 I'm In Heaven

Take A Bow

I Got My Tranny On And Listened To Some Old Madonna Jams. You Know Back When I Was Still A Virgin. I Love Madonna. But Her Slow Jams Is Where The Soft Part Of My Head Gets A Little Softer. I Love Her Slow Jams From The 90's. Her Dance Songs Can Make Me Seizure Like A Drag Queen While On E On Valentines Day. But Her This Song Really Takes Me Back To A Simpler Time. You Know When Madonna Had That Ranger For Latino And Posing Nude In Public. Yeah Those Were The Days...

They Said We Got No Class....

Check Out This Jam From The "Stuck To The Sidewalk" Mixtape By Zak! Featuring The Hunks From Team Facelift....Reason Clothing Presents WE GREW HERE

Download The Mixtape @ ZAK!ZAK!ZAK!