I NEED SOME HELP!!!

Did YOU CUM YET? UGH Love This Jam. Makes Me Wanna Buy Expensive Pants Just To Throw Them Off!!! I Need Some SERIOUS HELP!...So Hot. Moist Even.

FATHER'S DAY

I Haven't Celebrated Father's Day Since I Was Child. Luckily All My Friends Are Dads And Make Incredible Jams For Me To Fuck To.

Rap Battling

So This Tuesday I'm Making My Rap Debut By Rap Battling At Real Quick For Fun. Which Is Going To Be An Epic Night. I'm Going To Get REAAAL Weird And All My Favorite MEN Will Be There For Hosting Duties. Check Out The Event Here. Should Be A Night To Remember Or Have The Internet Remind Me Afterwards.

They Said We Got No Class....

Check Out This Jam From The "Stuck To The Sidewalk" Mixtape By Zak! Featuring The Hunks From Team Facelift....Reason Clothing Presents WE GREW HERE

Download The Mixtape @ ZAK!ZAK!ZAK!

Creep Crawl

The Teen Wolf....The Young J Fox

This Video Is So Dope Like Getting Into The O.C. Dope.....It's Featuring The Creeptastic Machine From Team Facelift and The Lovely Cat Marnell....@TOECHAMP @rocketqueen89.....It's Like A Drug Fueled Dream I Had At A Mexican Carnival Minus The Donkey But Ten Times The Lust. Get This Song Off The 6 Grams Album Out NOW . If You Want To Avoid Being A Loser Check IT OUT


TEAM FACELIFT - "Heart Attack" from Matt Raz on Vimeo.

6 Grams Is Here!!!

Team Facelift's Latest Album Is Out! I've Been Enjoying It For The Last Few Weeks Getting Familiar With The Tracks That I'm Obviously Going To Be Listening To While I'm Walking Into Duane Reade To Purchase Plan B For One Of My Trashy Gf's Because She's Too Hungover In Her UES Apartment To Force Her Doorman To Get It For Her. So I'm Receiving Texts Up The Vageen To Get It.

6 Grams Has Officially Leaked Online. This Gold Is A Whole Other Level. This Album Is Like If James Brown Had A Baby With Harry Potter Except That Baby Only Sucked Dick For Crystal Meth Instead Of Milk. It's Magical,It's Funky....Like Old School Funky And It Makes Me Moist. The Thick Guitar Riffs, The Ill Lyrics And Phenomenal Featured Artist Are Enough To Make Any Grown Man To Slap On Some Lip Gloss And Dance.

I'll Love Everything They Do Til The Day I Die A Young Childless Woman On A Moist Mattress With A Belt Wrapped Around My Neck.(That's A Promise)

If You Don't Have One Hand Down Your Pants After Listening To 6 Shooter Featuring Rust Juxx You Must Have Erectile Dysfunction Or Have That Female Circumcision Thing Done To You, Where The Idea Of Pleasure Is Just Painful.

Fountain Of Youth Is One Of Those Jams That Makes Me Weep. Like A Rainy Day Weep Where I'm Holding My Body Pillow Of Fonda As He Sings About Farts, Finger Painting And STD's. I'm Laying In My Queen Size Bed In A Dark Room Cuddling With Pillow Fonda And I'm Just Slowly Crying.

It Just Reminds Me Of The Late Nights Where He's Sang Me Sonnets In Brooklyn. Then The Soft Chorus Flows Into Machine's Lyrics.....Machine Is Literally Living His Lyrics On This Track. His Heart Is Spewing Out Of His Mouth In This Jam....It's So Sexual. Jew Is Like The Dr. Seuss Of Rap. After A Few Rhymes I'm Hypnotized...I Almost Feel Like All Three Of Them Are Singing Just For Me. Dancing Hard Body As Each Drop Of Sweat Is Showering My Face.



It Would Be A Crime Not To Download It And Play It For Your Little Brother.


PS TOMMY MAS IS INCREDIBLE!!!!! I'M SOOO GOING To Bake You A Perfect Rum Cake. But Like A Healthy One. I Don't Want To Ruin Your Diet Of Cigarettes And Whey Protein Shakes.

Angel Eyes

This Clip Of Team Facelift Is A Q&A By Culture Shoq. The Whole Time I'm Getting Hypnotized By Machine. It's Hard Not To When He's Laying Down The Rules Of Team Facelift On You. I Swear If I Could Get Knocked Up Theses Guys Would Be The Unhappy Dads Of Some Asian Mutant Babies By Now. Shit One Would Be In Kindergarten Terrorizing His Teacher All Day Because He Wouldn't Wear Pants, Smoked Menthol Cigarettes During Lunch, Boofed The Class Hampster And Played Sex Change Doctor Way Too Many Times For It To Be Cute. Their New Album Is Coming Out Soon And Lemme Tell You It's Going To Change The World. My Mind Is Own And I'm Usually The Blower. Ha.




Team Facelift Q&A from culture shoq on Vimeo.

Let's get Fucked Up Tonight

Teaser For Team Facelift's New Album 6 Grams....Are You High Already?

Are You a Demon From Hell Or Just My Ex-Girlfriend?

Team Facelift- Are You a Demon From Hell Or Just My Ex-Girlfriend? from The Fat Jew on Vimeo.

These Days Weak Rappers Gotta Detox

There's Absolutely Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Look Fierce. Especially For a Straight Hunky Grown Ass Man. I Know I've Talked About Fonda's Follicles Before But Seems Like Same Has Really Been Killing It With His Bi-Weekly Hair Cuts With The Asian Jesus Mastering The Scissors.

(Side Note: Totes Met a HOT HOT HOT Lezzie With a Scissor Tattoo On Her Ribs The Other Night. Almost Went Into The Bathroom With Her And Let Her Fuck Me Like a Man.....Just Saying)

Check Out This Latest Web Sensation Of Machine Doing What He Does Best.....Looking Good And Living His Lyrics. Featuring Leatherface & Directed By Tommy Mas....Here's "Mr. Menthol"


MACHINE-TEAM FACELIFT-"Mr. Menthol" feat. Leatherface from tommy mas on Vimeo.

Bringing Hunky Back

Tonight My Favorite Men From Team Facelift Are Performing At Santos Party House. Santos Is Known To Have The Best Speaker System in NYC To Have Your Panties Blown Off of You. From Personal Experience I Can Attest This Is True.So Fat Jew, Machine & Fonda Are Killing It Tonight With Their Epic Tunes & Sweaty Sweaty Performance. I Was About To Hop on The Last Jitney When I Was Informed About Their Performance Time And Realized That I'd Probably End Up In Jail If I Went So I Opted To Stay Home and Wait When They All Come To The Tramptons This Weekend. They Know How To Make Me Melt And I Love Them Completely.

One Time I Drove All Night To Scoop Up Fonda In Northampton Mass Just So I Could Do His Laundry In The Hamptons And Gab About Tranny Hunting, His Cat Allergies And My Asianess. I'm Working On Getting My Team Facelift Tat Soon To Show The World How Much I Love My Hunks.


Team Facelift At Santos 8/6/09 from daddy issues on Vimeo.


That Video Is From Last Summer At Santos While I Was Wearing Mini Mouse Ears and Just Stopped Filming 4 Songs In To Dance Like Whacking Waving Inflated Arm Tube Man.





That Video Is The Boys Slaughtering At BB Kings Last Week. Performing Their Love Letter To Former Mayor Dinkins.

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Fonda's Hair Is Like A Warm Sunny Day In San Dieago. You Can Always Count That It'll Be Perfect And There's Never Going To Be a Bad Day. Look AT That Curl. I'm Mean Really Exam It, It's Perfectly Executed. I Asked Him Once If I Could Write a Blog Dedicated To Just His Hair, It Would Have Been Called Follicles Of Fonda. He Didn't Turn Down The Idea But Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea That I'd Watch Him Sleep So I Could Inspect His Hair. Even Though I Know He Couldn't Possibly Have Bed Hair.....Because That Would Require Sleep. So That Idea Got The Kebosh.

Machine Has The Voice Of The New York Version Of Pepe Le Pew. By Saying That He Has The Voice of Lust. Like a Snake He Hypnotizes His Prey And Strikes Before They Realized They Were In Danger To Begin With. He's a Lover But Mess With His Newports Then Your In Trouble.

There's Not Much To Say About Fatty. Except He Smells Like Old Cheap Whiskey, Cigarettes and Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo. For My Birthday I Organized Five 18 Year Old Babes To Shave And Shampoo Him In My Basement. I'll Let You Assume For Yourself On What Happened That Night.


People Say They're Legends in the Making. If You Knew Them, You'd Know That Everything They Do Is Legendary. Ain't No Half Steppin' With Them.

Tragic Christmas

Dad Stop Embarassing Me!

WMC MIAMI 2010 pt.1 Interviews from SNORTTHIS.COM on Vimeo.

I Hate White Woman...Like I'm Oj Simpson

Throw Back Tuesday Presents......."Have Fun"

Lotion In The Basket

my Boys

A CLIP of Team Facelift from the winter 2008. I blacked out this night but I'm not MAD about it. What I do remember was the grand entrance Machine,the Teen Wolf III, He was rocking a narly wig that suited his alter persona. Fonda Badonas was styled in his iconic red hoodie and leather jacket combo.The Fat Jew worked up such a heavy sweat I could taste every little salty dropple that would fly off him, whenever he danced too close to me.

Team Facelift Does it Big, Duh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFKgqeZuyEs


New York's Ruthless Do It again with their Latest Music Video. Dripping blood from their mouths can only make me wet. I love these BOYS SOOOO much!