We Can Make This Work

Dear Kingston Rossdale,

I Know Your Only 4 And That I Am Just Another Cougar In Training Or "Babysitter That Isn't Allowed By Schools Or Public Parks" But I Really Think We Have Something Special. I Don't Drive And Your Strictly On Scooter Or Stroller Hopping. But I Honestly Think I Love You. Your Sense Of Style Is Decades Above Those Other Whack Wanna Be Star Babies And You Really Know How To Rock A Those Expensive Kid Brands.

I Love That Your Blonde But Not Afraid To Show Your Roots That's So Mature Of You. But To Pick Up Other Women Infront Of The Phototags Has Really Jilted Me.

 I Thought What We Had Was Unquiely Ours. If I Had Known You'd Be Playing The Field I Wouldn't Have Invested So Much Of My Heart, NO....MY SOUL Into Devoting Myself To You. I Wouldn't Say I'm Heartbroken But Disappointed Like Any Teacher Would When Her Favorite Pupil Has Stopped Measuring His Penis In His Text Book And Purposely Leave It On Her Desk. I Feel Like Kel Without Keenan, Like When Buffy The Vampire Slayer Left The WB For UPN, Like When Ryan Gossling Stopped Making Young Hercules.....BETRAYED. Kingston I'll Wait For You Not Because In The State Of California Our Relationship Won't Be Legal Until Your Finally 18 But Because Your Mother's Restraining Order Still Holds Up Until 2015.

Sympathy For The Devil

There's Nothing As Good As The Original. Frankly All This Coverage Of Her Has Gotten Dull. Addiction Is Suppose To Be Something Private, Frowned Upon And Only Suppose To Be In The Newspaper Once In The Police Blotter. As A Nation We've Been Celebrating Her Failure Too Openly. Your Either Rooting For Her To Be Locked Up, Hoping She Finally Gets The Help She So Desperately Needs, Or That Her Whole Family Would Stop Going To The Media To Make Her Drama Worse. If This Was Natalie Portman Or Emma Watson We'd All Be Shocked And Disappointed. But Girls Like Lindsay,Mischa,Paris And Kirsten Are All Targets Of Paparazzi. It's Difficult To Sympathize For Them Because They're Out Partying And Enjoying Themselves. Shit If I Had A Full Fledged Team Of Cameramen Following Me Every Night I Went Out I'd Be Disowned Again From My Family Too. Majority Of The Girls I Know Drink Like Men, Have Sex With Strangers Most Nights And Then Tweet About It. What Makes These Hollywood Babes Any Different? They're Suppose To Be Role Models, Held To A Higher Standard. Fuck I Used To Be A Role Model. The Girl Ended Up Pregnant.....Wait No I Think She Got An Abortion. No Wait. She Waited Too Long I Think But Had Asked Me To Bring Her Until Her Parents Found Out And Made Her Keep. She Asked Me To Be Godmother......