Bottle Poppaz

Fat Jew And Jonny Famous Are At It Again In Another Trailer. As Two Ego-centric Bottle Promoters In AZ. Where The Weather Is Hot & Dry And The Women Are Loose & Wet. The Perfect Scene For Bash Brothers Marcus And Troy To Set Up Shop As The Goons With The Bottles At The CLUB. Theses Characters Are A Dangerous Duo, As In They Probably Strictly Fuck Raw Dog As They Dumped Brand Name Vodka All Over Your Ass To Sanitize The Situation Before It's Even Over.

I Think This Is A Real Insight On How Clubbing Has Become This Terrible Subculture Of Business,Sin And Labia Shots For The Internet Promo Posters. Welcome To The Seedy Under Belly Of Clubbing In The New Millenium. Hope You Don't Agree To Bathroom Sex For Coke, But If You Do Make Sure His Bro Isn't Filming On His Phone.

Fat Jew X Le Panda

The Very Sexy Clayton Woodley AKA Le Panda Took Some Extremely Saucy Photos Of The Uncomparable Fat Jew....Breathtaking. 

Bowling Is The Only Sport You Can Eat And Drink Beer During The Game.

Elegant, Masculine, Delicate Yet Forceful. Love It.

After A Few Kiddie Meals It's Always Important To Do Some Nitrus.

ZEBRA

"GIRL DON'T BE SHY"-TEAM FACELIFT

Breaking NEWS!

Only Ocsar Coverage I Cared About

According To My Mom Vol 1.

I Had Recently Revealed To My 68 Year Old Thai Mother That If I Was To Get Married; That I'd Probably Marry A Jewish Man. Her Response Was Surprisely Positive. "Oh Jewish Men Make Great Husbands. They're Good With Their Money, Their Family, And It's All Around Great Security. Who The Fuck Would Let Their Son Marry You?" My Mom Has Recently Been Trying "Fuck" Out In The Backyard And Lemme Tell You From Experience She Loves To Cuss Now.

I Went Through My Phone To Show Her All My Of Prime Time Jews.
After I Showed Her Fat Jew She Thought I Was Kidding When I Professed My THICK LUST For Him To Her. She Was Straight Up Perplexed At My Attraction To This Adonis Of A Man. Didn't Help That The First Picture I Showed Her Was Of His Pubic Mound..... That's His Penis......

Then I Showed Her My Lovely Lovely Matthew Sterling. Not Only Does He Have The Looks Of A Hot Hot Hot Half Asian Model But He Sings....Just For Me At 8 AM Even After I Jumped Into A Pool Fully Clothed And Stole A Bottle Of Rum. He's V-Neck Tee Shirt Collection Is Extremely Impressive. Oh And He's The Only Person I Know That Can List Every Actor That Was On Mtv's Undressed. If That Isn't Enough Qualities To Husband Him Up ASAP Then I Probably Should Call IMBOYCRAZY For More Love Advise.

Who Do You Think Looks Best On Me?

Oscar Party!!!!!

Was The Oscars Bad For You Too? Like Too Much Coke....Soft Dick Bad? Apparently They Were So Painfully Boring James Franco Was Tweeting The Whole Time And The Funniest Person There Was A Recovering Stroke Victim.

So The Best Way To Kick Off A Bad Oscar Experience Is To Throw The Perf Party To Avoid The Real Snore-Feast That Was Anne Hathaway's Costume Changes.

Fat Jew Made This How To Throw An Oscar Party Video For E! A Minute Back. His Gift Bags Were So Much Sweatier This Year.

The Fat Jew's Oscar party on E! Daily 10 from The Fat Jew on Vimeo.

Natalie Portman Is Totes Preggo. She Looked Gorg In Plum. Luckily I Stopped Myself From Vomiting With The Thought Of Her Being With Child. Congrats On The Award Not The Baby......

Another Plum Number Was Done By ScarJo. She's Single Now And I Expected Some Crazy Xtina Slut Show. But She Fell Short Of Being Anywhere Of Being Sexy. She Looked Frumpy, Her Underwear Was Beyond Visible, And Her New Post Break Up Hair Cut Is Appalling.

Mila Looked Fab In This Romantic Number Last Night. Showing Off Her Post Ballerina Bod.

Amy Adams Looked Like A Chinese Empresses From The 1920's That's Passed Out In An Opium Den Jade Included.

Jenny From Dawson's Creek Looked Like Mia Farrow Pre Adopting A Million Babies For A Mini Soccer Team.

Apparently Anyone Can Be A Country Singer These Days Because If Gwyneth Can Make It Look Easy Then It's Definitely Easy. She's The Same Broad That Teachs People How To Cook On Her Site GOOP And You Know That Girl Never Really Cooks For Herself.

Celine Dion Is Crazy. Like Batshit Crazy. She Was Seen Barking On Oprah Like A Week Ago. We All Know It Wasn't Due To Birthing Twinsie....Ewah. But She Looked Gorg In My Thai Mother's Wedding Dress From 1976. Her Singing Killed Lena Horne Twice.

Ok We Get It Your Australian!

So Mandy Moore Sucked During Her Song. I Really Wanted Her To Bust Out With Her Hit "Candy" But Instead Chuck Killed It And She Looked Like She Was Forcing Her Look.

Hailee Steinfeld Didn't Win But She Had Stolen My Heart With This Dress. Plus She Solidified My Hatred Towards Lea Michelle.

Halle Berry I Get It Your Black And Have An Oscar.

Hilary Swank I Get It You Have A Penis And Have An Oscar.

Heidi Klum And Eric Robert's Daughter Look Amazing At Elton John's Party. By Amazing I Mean Like They Were Dressed By The Gay Mafia To Look Like Disco Balls.

Dear Melissa Leo, Thanks For Dropping An F Bomb Last Night...But Could You Return My Kitchen Floor. It's Looking Bare Without The Ceramic Tiles.

Charlize Theron Needs To Stop Killin Lionfish To Make Her Oscar Party Dresses.

Cate Blanchett Was One Of My Favies Presenters. Her Dress Looks A Little Matronly/ Lady Gaga Pearl Outfit With Pee....Meaning I Loved It.

Jennifer Lawerence Really Nailed It On The Head With This Calvin Klein Collection Dress. And By "It" I Mean All The Hearts Of Gays Everywhere.

Ok JHud. The First Movie You Were In You Gained 50lbs And Got An Oscar. Now That Your Skinny Does That Mean I Can Take It Back?

Your A Single Mother Banging Ryan Reyolds. You Go Sandra Bullock You Go! No Seriously Get The Fuck Out Of My Face.

Penelope Just Got Married And Had A Baby. Just Like Her Ex She's Hiding Her Baby's Identity For A Record Breaking 184 Days Until Those Scientist Can Manufacture An Alien Baby. So After A Few Years Of Being A Beard To A Closeted Gay Man You'd Think She'd Gain Some Fashion Sense Right? Instead She Looks Like A Show Girl From 1960. I Heard This Frock Was Vintage As In The Hooker That Frank Sinatra Shot Was Buried In This And Someone Dug It Up In Time For The Awards.

Selieber Were Caught Smooching. Somewhere In Middle America An 11 Year Old Girl Is Cutting Herself In Her Basement Or That 3 Year Old Girl Finally Died From Beiber Fever.

Reese Witherspoon Looked "Elegant" And When I Say That...I Mean You Look Like A Prom Queen Reject From 2004. Plus You Looked A Lot Like This Bitch....