Grease Is The Word

DANNNY ZUKOOOOOOOO


I'm So Obsessed Right Now. I'm Watching The Movie After All These Little Coincidences Kept On Creeping Up Like Unsightly Razor Burns. First My Good Friend Told Me He Was Assistant Directing A Middle School Presentation Of Grease. At First I Was Really Excited I Performed The Play My Senior Year....Then After A Few Moments I Realized How Filthy The Play Is....Unwanted Pregnancies,Lying,Car Sex, Gang Dance Off Violence, Teaching Women To Be Promiscuous, Smoke And Correspond With Multiple Men Over Seas.
He Told Me That A Lot Of Material Was "Condensed" Meaning Mad Sexy Stuff Was Cut Out.


LE MIZ RAH BULLES
My Friend A Natural Performer Was Also The Teen Angel. Cutie City Right? It Made Me Remember My Days On Stage Doing The Show When On Baby Ape Son Jay Posted A Photo From The Dance Scene On The Book. Check It Out

DEAD CENTER AS PER USUAL

"Hickey From Kenickie Is A Hallmark Card." -Ka NICKS!
"The Only Girl Can Depend On Is Her Daddy"-Frenchie

"Sandy, Beauty Is Pain"-Frenchie 

"I'm A Terrific Pen-Pal: Hopelessly Devoted To Each And Everyone"-Marty...My Bitch Over Here

"She's Too Pure To Be Pink"-Rizzo

"She's Too Pure To Be Pink"-Rizzo

"Hey Do Your Folks Know I Come Into Your Room Every Night?...." -Vince Fontaine

"Marty"-M "Marty What?"-V "Marty Maraschino, You Know Like In Cherry"-M

"What's With You Tonight?"-Marty
"I Feel Like A Defected Typerwriter"-Rizzo
"Huh?" -Marty
"I Skipped A Period."-Rizzo
"Think You're P.G?"-Marty OMGGGGGGGGEEZ 

"When A Guy Picks A Chick Over His Buddies, Something's Gotta Be Wrong. Come On, Guys Let's Go For Some Pizza." -Sonny....Bros Before Hoes Is An Important Law. But I Barely Know Any Guys Or Gals That Follow It. 




LOVES IT. Grease Is The Word

Rock & Roll

MARCH MADNESS

I Recently Got A Real Job While Promoting My Thai Food Catering Business. So I've Been Falling Behind On Blogging My Thoughts. But Be Sure To Follow My Twitter @DaddyIssues

In The Mean Time Of Me Confronting My Adulthood Head On I'd Like To Share Some Of My Favorite Things. Oprah Isn't OWNing Me Today Ladies....Unless She Gives Me A Free Ipad 2 Or Gives Me Dr.Oz's Phone Number I Don't Owe Her ANYTHING.


So Lemme Just Highlight Some Of The Things I've Been Obsessing With. (Besides Penis,Glitter, And The Drag Queens That Have Both)

First Off The Wife And I Discovered A Great Movie.It's Called Mystery Team And Stars Donald Glover From Community. Donald Plays Jason A High School Senior With The Soul Of A 10 Year Old. He Spends Majority Of His Free Time Solving Petty Crimes With His Two Best Friends Charlie The Strongest Kid In Town And Duncan The Boy Genius.  The Boys Have Been Foiling 7 Years Olds From Stealing And Have A 24 Booth Where A Redheaded Special Needs Adult Girl Bikes By To Tell The Boys Her Tips. Like The Comish And Batman With The Bat Signal Except Commissioner Gordon Is A Hot Redhead Riding Her Bike Around Town Talking To Trash Cans And Harassing The Little Kids At The Park Because Her Aging Grandmother Who Probably Takes Care Of Her Is Too Tired To Keep Her Chained Up In The Basement.

Anyway The Boys Get Their Hands Full When Asked To Solved A Double Homicide. From The Great Cameos From Other Comedians To The Best Lines Ever This Movie Is Def Worth Watching Stoned On A Sunday Night When Family Guy, American Dad And Everything Else On Fox Is All Reruns. Or Because I Said So And You'll Never Understand Anything I Say Because It Would Be A Line From This Movie. I've Also Discovered There's A Boatload Of Webisodes On YouTube. That's Like Getting A Dick Pic On Your Cell And Sending It To One Of Your Girls To Show Her What Your Getting Later But Then Send It To Everyone On Your Cell. Now Everyone Knows What Great Dong Your Getting Later. (Fun Fact: Donald Glover Also Goes By DongLover....)

Ahanu And I Have Been Quoting This Movie Nonstop. Some Favorites Are:

"Whatever You Do Don't Suck Their Dicks"

"FUCK! Yeah I Say Fuck Now! I've Been Trying It Out In The Backyard"

"What Is That?"
"My C-Section Scar. For 5 Bucks I'll Let You Cum On It"
"I'll Give You 2 If You Tell Me What That All Means"

"I Drank Dog Pee"

"With The Market The Way It Is....It's Better To Rent Cocaine"



Secondly Bob's Burgers Has Been Making Me Cream My Lace Panties For Weeks. It Stars Some Really Talented People But The Only Person I Care About Is John Roberts The Person Behind Mittymoo....Don't Know What I'm Talking About?



Anyway I've Loved John Roberts Forever. He Reminds Me Of All The Jersey/Long Island Moms At The Malls Hasseling Me For Taking Too Long In The Changing Rooms Then Makes A Panda Express Joke When I Walk Out. Great Right? Anyway Bob's Burgers Is An Epic Addition To Fox's Animation Domination Block. Spicing Up The Family Dynamic By Adding A Family Business Which I Could Relate.

I Grew Up In My Mom's Thai Restaurant For 17 Years. Unlike Every Other Thai Restaurant Ours Had An Irish Sports Bar Connected. Out Menu Had Pad Thai,Pork Fried Rice, Chicken Pot Pie,Pizza And Burgers. I'm Not Complaining....I Got To Harass Hamptons' Celebrities, The Regulars Taught Me How To Never Settle For Your High School Sweetheart Because You'll End Up Sitting In A Bar Watching Jeopardy Every Night, And How To Place My Napkins On A Table. Enough About My Theraphy Sessions.

Bob's Burgers Is Hysterical. Bob Is a Disgruntled Dad Trying To Make It With What He's Got. His Wife Linda Is A Dreamer, His Oldest Daughter Tina Is Slower Than Hugh Hefner On A Conga Line, His Son Gene Is A Constant Reminder He Should Have Pulled Out And Louise Is The Smart Trouble Maker. Tina Is Hands Down My Favorite Animated Character With A Defect Since Timmy From South Park.



So I Rarely Watch Mtv. The Only Time I Do Is To Get My Dj Pauly D Fix From The Jersey Shore. But Something Awkward Happened One Night During A Commerical Break. I Wasn't Sure If This Was Real Or A Gag. So I Hear A Snoop Dogg Song Come Up. It's A Little Dated But Still A Classic Jam At Proms. I See This Average Ugly Girl To Start To Dance. The Way I'd Dance If I Was At A Babyshower To Lighten Up The Mood Because We're All 17 And Barely Graduated High School.

But It Turns Out This Wasn't A Gag For One Of Mtv's Failed Comedy Shows. It Wasn't For A Nick Cannon's Awful Show And Now I'm Addicted To The Commerical. If Anything It Probably Tastes Terrible But If Your A Futurama Fan It Tastes Like Slurrrrm.

Ok Kids I'm OFF. Sure I Couldda Talked About How The World Is Coming To The End And That Elizabeth Taylor Died And Pretend I Loved Nate Dogg And That I Some How Only Heard About The Shiz In Japan....But Hey! I Cry Enough That I Wake Up Next To A Fat Dog Instead Of A Naked Under Age Boy.

It's Fantastic Being Plastic!

Do You Know Who That Is? It's Anna Faris. I Have Serious Mixed Emotions About Her Because She Is Really Funny And Talented. But Her Transformation From Skinny Funny Girl To Sexpot Has Been Overwhelming.

She Had Funky Teeth And Had Them Fixed. Not Really A Big Deal. She Had Her Breast Done, Not Exactly A Shocker Either. A Few NJ's Later And Lip Injections She's Really Hard To Look At.

She Looks Old, Like Haggard Old. Her Fake Lips Make ME SO ANGRY! Because I Can Only Imagine How Much Money Her Doctor Is Making By Telling Her There's Something Wrong With Her.

Ok So She Looked A Little Funky Back Then...... But These New Lips Look Like She Fell On A Hot Stove.

This Is With Airbrushing

With Thighs Like Those Who Needs Friends?

Brigitte Nielsen Will Always Be A Hot Babe To Me.

Always A Bride's Maid

Robin Dunne Is Famous. Okay Well No He Isn't. He's The Guy That's In Literally All The Sequels For Most Late 90's Movies. From The Shitastic Sequel Cruel Intentions 2, The Lack Luster Skulls 2, Au Pair II And Species III. There's Isn't Anything He's Done That Isn't Straight To Dvd Or Only A TV Movie Release. It's Like He Only Comes To LA For Auditions But Lives In Vancouver Full Time For All These Cheap C Rated Movies And Tv Shows He's In.  The Worst Is When I'm Flipping Through The Channel Guide And I Think I'm About To Flip On The Sarah Michelle Gellar Classic Cruel Intentions Then I'm Stuck Staring At Amy Adam's Poor Man's Kathryn Mertuill. Even Keri Lynn Pratt Is In That Awful Prequel....The Chick That's Still  Playing A Teenager On CSI and Law & Order....
So The Writing Is Budget, The Story Is Trying Too Hard And Throw In Some Unnecessary Shower Scenes With Naked Twins And That's This Guys Whole Career. He'll Never Ever Be In A Summer Blockbuster Of A Movie Let Alone A Movie In A Real Movie Theater.

We're The Kids In America

Thank You For Being A Friend

Punk Nose Brats

Today I Had To Spend My Friday Afternoon Supervising A Read-a-Thon At The Library I Do Community Service At. Let's Just Say Too Many Of Them Reminded Me Of Bebe's Kids And A Comforting Fact Washed Over...... That I'm Infertile....... Reminded Me How Lucky I Am And The General Public Because My Kids Would Be The Future Felons Of The Hamptons TOO!

American Harry Potter

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Man Of My Dreams

Gomez Addams Is My Perfect Dream Man. He's Really Involved With His Family, He Has His Own Graveyard, Simple French Phrases Makes Him Harder Then The SATS And He's Always Dressed Like A True Hunk. Gomez Knows How To Dance,Fight And I'm Almost Positive He Could Win A Dance Off Against JT.

Not Only Is Gomez Loaded, His House Is My Wet Dream Of Secret Passages And Water Slides. Luckily For Him I'm Into Bondage And He Can Tease Me As Much As He Wants. Like Most Of My Exs He Seems Like He Hasn't Slept In Decades And Smokes A Lot. I Just Have To Learn The Tango And Kill A Lot Of Roses To Gain His Affections.

You Had Me At Suck My Cock

This Romantic Comedy Looks Terrible & Predictable Based Off It's Previous Trailers. Anne Hathaway Obvious Has Cancer And Jake's Penis Cures It. I Mean He Did Fix Reese Witherspoon And Ruined Kristin Dunst With That Dong So I'm Going To Assume It's Magical. The Fact My Mother Hates His Guts Means I Have To Dye My Hair Blonde Move To LA. Get A Jogging Habbit With My Dog In That Canyon Everyone Goes To, So We Can Bang And He Can Make My Troubles Go Away. Or I'll Become The Next Britney Spears Circa 2007...Again.


But With All This Penis Talk In This Trailer.....I'm In There Like Swimwear.

Even When He's Sneaking Out He's Smiling

Don't Be Afraid To Do This To My Face

Love and Other Drugs - Exclusive Red Band Trailer - Watch more Movie Trailers

I'm Just A Fucked-Up Girl

Otho

Rest Well Glen....You Were A Pleasure.

Xannax Or Cheese Whiz?

Motivational Speakers

Summer Movies Kinda Blow So Far

Just Like a Sasquatch I'm Unusually Hairy

One of My Favorite Movies has So Many Gems in it That it's Painful. The Sasquatch Gang is an Awkward Comedy Starring a Mullet Rockin' Sleeveless Wearing Justin Long. As Zerk Wilder Struggling to Make Ends Tricks Some Dorks Into a Scam to Make Easy Money.

Introducing Disappointment Vol 1

Ever Been Super Amped About Something and Have It Turn Out Terribly Wrong? Like Losing You Virginity? You Think It's Gonna Be Awesome and Then it Turns Out To Be a Sad Experience? Like All The Work To Sneak Out, Shave, Teeth Whitening, and Lip Waxing Was All For 5 Mins of Grunting, Sweat Dripping into Your Eyes and Twigs in Your Hair. You Know Uneventful? Well That Happen to Me Really Recently, Except For a Movie I was SUPER Pumped to See. It's Called Gentlemen Broncos   I was Crazy Disappointed About This. This Crock Of Shit Was Made From The Same Team Behind Napoleon Dynamite & Nacho Libre. Gentlemen Broncos Even Had That Ugly Dude Hector Jimenez As Pompous Teen Film Maker. The Trailer Is What Set Me Up For This Awful Monstrosity.

It's Really Hard To Root For Any of The Characters Because Majority Of Them Are Ruthless Assholes. Besides Benjamin (Played By The Babe Kristen Stewart Dumped For Robert Pattinson) and His Character Bronco.Ben Went to a Fantasy Writers Convention Where His Story is Stolen By a Successful Novelist. Ben Gets Used By Everyone That Knows Him Until The Very End. But Even Then I Still Hate Everyone Else In The Story. This Is The Type of Movie That Makes Me Wanna Attack People With a Wiffle Ball Bat While Wearing a Mardi Gras Mask.

Luckily Sam Rockwell Is Still Love-able Even As a Tranny.....