Sometimes I Question Buddha For Not Making Me a Gay Man

These Days Weak Rappers Gotta Detox

There's Absolutely Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Look Fierce. Especially For a Straight Hunky Grown Ass Man. I Know I've Talked About Fonda's Follicles Before But Seems Like Same Has Really Been Killing It With His Bi-Weekly Hair Cuts With The Asian Jesus Mastering The Scissors.

(Side Note: Totes Met a HOT HOT HOT Lezzie With a Scissor Tattoo On Her Ribs The Other Night. Almost Went Into The Bathroom With Her And Let Her Fuck Me Like a Man.....Just Saying)

Check Out This Latest Web Sensation Of Machine Doing What He Does Best.....Looking Good And Living His Lyrics. Featuring Leatherface & Directed By Tommy Mas....Here's "Mr. Menthol"


MACHINE-TEAM FACELIFT-"Mr. Menthol" feat. Leatherface from tommy mas on Vimeo.

TEAM ASIA!!!

I've Been Trying To Make This Blog For A While But Couldn't Get The Right Motivation For It. Well Today While I Was BBMing My Sister, We Talked About Our Crazy Relatives And How It's Effected Our Mental Stability. Growing Up In The Hamptons My Mom Had Her Sisters Help Out At Out Thai Food Restaurant. My Mom Is The 3rd Of 9 Children And Brought Majority Of Her Insane Family Over To The States.

My Aunt That We Call Nah Tah Helped Raise My Sister and I. She's Very Interesting To Watch, She Eats With Her Mouth Open, She Fights With Everyone And After 20 Something Years In NY She Speaks Less English Now Then She Did in 1995. She's Left At Summer Camp For 4 Extra Hours  And Burned My Food On Purpose, But I Know It Came With Love. Well As Much Love a Bitter Asian Woman Can Give Her Spoiled Half White Niece.

Then There's My Favorite Aunt Nah Gan,She Lives In Bangkok and London And Is BATSHIT CRAZY. She Looks Like The Asian Michael Jackson And Has Been Known To Dabble In Gambling,Prostitution And Heavy Drinking & Smoking. When I Was 17 I Went To Thailand Before My Senior Year. I Was Obsessed With Returning Back To School Looking Completely Different Then I Did When I Left In June. Sure Enough Nah Gan Loved The Idea And Brought Me To A Piercing & Tattoo Parlor. I Got 8 New Piercings That Trip And Right Afterwards I Got a 7 Hour Tattoo. Sure My Mom Went Into Shock And My Mother Hasn't Spoken To Nah Gan Since 2004.....She's Still My Favorite Aunt. Even If Her Nose Came Off After Deep Sea Snorkeling.

Can You Imagine Waking Up In a Foreign Country Next To an Asian Michael Jackson?

Asians Are The Bipolar Race. Either You'll Be Freakishly Hot, Smart And Into Cars. OR You'll Look Like a Gremlin With Long Eyebrows And AWFUL Teeth.

It Took Too Long For You To Get Back

Guess Which Kardashian Is Dating Another Hot Black Man

Ok So 14 Year Old Kendal Jenner Isn't Really Dating Anyone. But Baby Girl Is Looking Like Serious Jail Bait In These Photos For Her Portfolio. So Pedophiles Thank Her Bootylicious Sister Kim For Posting These Photos On Her Blog. She Looks Like 1/4 The Size Of Khloe.