Summer Time Slampigs Of New York

                                                       (ALWAY GRAB YOUR BEACH ESSENTIALS)

This Past Weekend Marked The Time of The Year Where New Yorkers Invade The Hamptons For BBQ's, Bon Fires and Itchy Sweaty Sunburns. Advice For The Kick Off of The Summer Are Very Important If You Wanna Survive The WASP Trap That Is The Hamptons. 1st Step Should Be Get Yourself Checked Out. STD's Are Sucha Awful Setback But On The Bright Side You Could Always Say Your Wretched Case of Herpes are Bug Bites or Boils. So Wrap It Up No One Wants To Go Home This September With a Stranger's Sperm Donor Baby or Worst a Star Constellation of Herpes on Your Sun Kissed Face.

When Being a Hipster In The Hamptons Always Bring Your Fedora Straw Hat, White Pants,Epic Sunglasses Collection, Loafers and Have Your Porsche Key Chain In Eyes View When Your Leaving Cromers Market With Your Bucket of Chicken So The Counter Girls Give You A BJ For The EZ Pass For The Deli Line.

Memorial Daze 20MEN

Lindsanity Vs The People

Girlfriend Is In TROUBLE. I Feel For Her Hard Body And Hope She Does Get Off. I Mean She Is Full Of Shit but She Needs a Break. It's Not Her Fault Her Dad Is a Dirt Bag, Her Mom Is an Enabler, And People Love Seeing Her Fail. It's Kind Of a Sickness, The World's Obsession With Her Life. But I Feel Her Pain.

Muppets Monday

Dear J.J. Abrams

FUCK YOU.

First You Toy With My Emotions with Lost and NOW Fringe Is Causing Me To Have an Ulcer. Thanks!

Here's Two Videos To The Same Song....Expressing What I'd NEVER Do To You J.J.

Twitterrific!

This Past Week I Was Pleasantly Surprised To See My Twitter Was On Paper Magazine's Top 140 People To Follow On Twitter. Slews Of NYC Personas I Follow Were Also On The List Such As @FatJew, @StageMomz ,@CassieCoane, @AndrewAndrew,@MISTERMORT and The Fierce @LadyFag. Along With Countless Celebs I'm Bumping Elbows With Some Saucy Tweeples. My Cousin @AnddyRadio Wrote an Epic Blog About My Elbow Bumping Experience.Also a Special Thanks To @RylandHilbert For Discovering The Whole Article In The First Place.

Happy Mother's Day

Sometimes I Dress Like a Mouse, Sometimes I Don't

Just Like a Sasquatch I'm Unusually Hairy

One of My Favorite Movies has So Many Gems in it That it's Painful. The Sasquatch Gang is an Awkward Comedy Starring a Mullet Rockin' Sleeveless Wearing Justin Long. As Zerk Wilder Struggling to Make Ends Tricks Some Dorks Into a Scam to Make Easy Money.

Lady Ryla

Today Is My Best Friend's Birthday.....(Oh and My Mom's Birthday)

Ryland John Hilbert IV Is My Bottom Bitch. I've Known Him Forever and Today He's Turning Lucky Number 22. He's One of The Most Intelligent, Genuine, Trust Worthy, Fabulous Person I've Had The Pleasure To Wake Up Next To. I Love That He's My White Thai Brother and I Can Call Him Anytime I Have Paranoid Panic Attack From The Inside of a Smelly Trunk. He'll Give Me His Jacket After Walking In The Rain In a White Tee Shirt For 2 Hours So I Don't Look So Debbie In Starbucks In Astor Place As I Charge My Phone and Pick Out The Dried Leaves and Chucks of Vomit in My Hair.