She Is So LATE

Sometimes You Feel Like A Slut Sometimes You Don't

Working On My Fitness

This Terrible Tips Comes To You From Excessive Coffee Drinking, Lack Or Sex And Quitting Cigarettes. OH Did I Mention I'm Sober? Yeah That Got Cut Off Because I Was Watching Too Much Porn Or Something. So My Intro Got Chopped Off. Oh WELL.

Fucking French Fries

Ever Want To Have A Hands On Conversation With Me? How About While Eating French Fries In A Lexus On The MEAN Streets Of Sag Harbor? I Just Fucking HOOKED YOU UP!



Some Of My Favorite Highlights In The Short Film I Created Is
-Shitting On Little Kids That Love Nicki Minaj
-Shitting On People That Do Impressions Of Me- Jesse Zorski I Fucking See You
-Shitting On Bad Parents
-EATING FRENCH FRIES

Tonight?

So New Years Really Has No Meaning To Me. Honestly I Get SOOOOO Uncomfortable Around Other DRunks. I Need To Be The Sloppiest Person In The Room. I Feel Like I'm The AZN Snooki Sometimes And I'm In Need Of My Vinny. Omg

Story Number One: The Bathroom Scene In This Music Video Is My Life In 2006. I'll Blow Up My Own Spot. Sorry Bobby.

Story Number Two: My Former Roommate Had Sex Withy Vinny From The Jersey Shore In A Club Bathroom.

Story Number Three: I Will Pay For A Picture Of DJ PAULY D'S Dick. Or A Tasteful Drawing Of It. I Want To See What Kind Of Dick Piercing He Has. He's Literally The Man Of My Dreams. High Maintenance, Tan, Straight Teeth And If The Washing Machine Was To Ever Break Down I Have His Rocking Abs To Do My Whites On.

By Whites I Mean My Teeth. BAHAH Just Kidding. I Never Use Teeth.

Anyway Friends I Want To Wish You All A Happy New Year. I Really Could Give A Fuck But It's A Great Excuse To Text EVERYONE In My Phone Because I'm A Sad Little Puppy That Needs Massive Amounts Of  Attention.


THERE'S NOTHING MORE AMERICAN THEN FUCKING IN A BATHROOM STALL IN NEW YORK CITY- @DaddyIssues

Dick GALORE

Some Great Dick Shots Were All Over The Internet This Year. Thanks To Websites Like IsAnyoneUp.com and WorldStarHipHop.com. We Got To See Chris Brown And Gabe Saporta. Or We Can Thank "Artist" Like Soulja Boy Twitpicing Himself.....Anyway Thanks Guys. Pete Wentz Is Nothing But Jealous.

Dirt Nasty Get It Together!

Stpid FUcking CAT!

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