NYE!!!

LET'S SAY NO TO

Things My Mom Says

I've Been Tweeting The Weird Things My Mom Says For A Few Years. But If You Read My Tweets It's Predominately About Sex So I'm Sure You Have No Idea What I'm Even Talking About. So After All The Crazy Stuff She's Said In The Last 24 Hours Alone. I've Decided To Write A Few Of Her Gems Down Here.


What She Has To Say About The Music Industry :

Eminem Has Such A Smooth Yet Spicy Voice. Like Cinnamon.

That Stephanie Girl? I Don't Like Her. She Looks Like An Alien With Vagina Lips.
(Fun Fact: She Scribbles Out Her Face In Every Magazine She Has)

On Athletes

He Looks Like Aladdin. You Know One Of Those Disney Princes.

I Hate Him. He's So Inmature. He Throws Kim Around. What An Asshole, He Lost Her Earrings In The Ocean.
(I Told Her I'd Let Him Throw Me Around. She Didn't Talk To Me For The Rest Of The Night)

That's Only From The Last Few Days. I'm Sure Our Two Christmas Dinners Will Really Pick It Up A Notch.

Terrible Tips For The Holidays

Here's A Little Video I Did Dishing Out Some Pretty Awful Advice To Party Guests And Hosts.

Talented Kids

I Can't Have Kids Of My Own. So I've Adopted Amazing Children On The Way.
One Of My Amazing Children Was In Grease With Me When I Was Still In High School. Not Only Is He An Amazing Singer. My Boy Can Sing And Dance Better Then Usher. Oh And Karate Chop A Mofo.
 I Love My Boys So Much. My Daughter Has The Ability To Pull It Out But The Boys Truly Love Mommy. Here's A Little Holiday Ditty My Baby Ape Did For Me.

ilove Jason Gettling

Where Are My Feet Suppose To Take Me

Here's One Of My Favorite New York Bands GONZO JONES Playing A Personal Anthem Of My Life.   These Funky Guys Are Phenomal Performers And Musicians. I Used To Dropped Everything With Little To No Money Hop The Train. Party All Night At One Of Their Shows....Crawl Back Onto The LIRR
And Work At 10 AM In East Hampton. Smelling Like Scott Disick's Balls...Which I Imagine Would Smell Like Foreign Oils, Sweat And Vodka.

I Love EB, Erik, Donovan And Of Course Chris With That Glorious Fro.

Holiday Gasp!

That's SNL's Weekend Update's New York Tourist Correspondent Stefan. This Is SNL's Holiday Card. Courtesy Of My Friend TJ Mannix.

I LOVE ERIC

I Miss The 90's DUH