The Grand Return

So we're returning back to the zoo tomorrow and let's just say mom and dad are proud.


Here's a little sonnet

Mom and Dad
You Made Me
I'm Your Baby
Boop Bop Beep Bop Baby!



Team Trash will also be there so let's get drunk like skunks and make some betches cry all night because we poured our cosmo all over her new white dress...cccheers!

The Bar List

People stop me all the time to ask what my favorite spot is in the whole city.If anyone that knows me would know I hate going above 14 street. I absolutely dread it.It maybe the main reason why I party hard so close to home base.
The thing about the city grime is that it feels like home whenever I'm breathing it.When I'm really diguesting the city smog and filthy I just get flashbacks of how much I truly love the zoo.There's probably three places that I find uber fun to be at.
The first spot is Bella's other allias include : Mar Bar, Nettis, Martignetti.I just love everything about this place. The bartenders there are all hottie bo bodies that are all in rock bands in scenes I love promoting for.The bouncers and doorman all know me by name and I'm pretty sure I'm having Q's unwanted baby. But that's a whole other tale by itself.I was automatically drawn to Mar's set up. The little library and all the different booths and tables. It's just so gosh darn cute. I mean who doesn't love getting drunk next to a painting of a Creepy Russian Czar? Most importantly I love my Dj's. They're family. My Family. On the deadiest of dead nights I'll swing through just to be inebriated with them. All in all it's my favorite place to top my list.
My second favo place is Max Fish. A Mecca for skators and graffiti artist roam here. The place is covered from ceiling to floor in art and if your lucky you tots can catch a retro Kung Fu Movie. I've had some run ins there. Pretty sure I was the reason for a few brawls after hours but it's just a really fun place to chill with a crowd of 20 somethings anyday out of the week.
The Prozzy home base bar has to be St. Dympheuos if that's even how you spell that shard. Is only on the list because it's walking distances to Tompkin Square Park...my dirty little secrets resident there. The best part about this place is the back patio. It used to be the worst, due to neighbors throwing eggs and pee. But trust me. I threw things back up at them haha.
Lastly this is a bonus spot because it's the only place I go above 14 street. It's Snitch. I have way too many stories from this place not to love it even just a little bit. From Blood Street shows to Snitchmas to losing my phone in the snow on Emily birthday. It truly is a crazy place. I'm not sure if it was the bent shower rod that drunk Island Long girls use as a Stripper pole that got me hooked or if it was the creepy dude with tats all over his face and a mohawk that could make Mr. T cry. But this sleazy spot is home to me. Okay it's not that sleazy...only when the lights are on thou. Who am I kidding everything is amazing in the dark bah. So inclusion my lovilies if you wanna find me in a gutter you know where I roam now. Txt a bitch

She loves those transactions

The little lady and I had a whirlwind of a weekend. Half a bucket of gold and a few miles of gas used we can honestly say it was a blastie blast. Almost like going away to girl scout camp without the camp fire...strike that there was a fire and someone's sleeping bag tots got a little too moist.

The Night That Could have Been

Last Night Patty Cakes and The Other Model Citizens performed at 169 bar to a drunken college crowd as The Crazian Asian was stuck watching CSI:NY. But never the less here's a recap of the evenings events. The Always Awful Emily Ott and friends jumped into a limo soon after Patty's show to rush over to The Blood Street Show....To Drunk to remember where her wallet was our heroin jumps ship and finds herself a ride home. While the rest of our gang was left to dance and merry around the Blood Street Fan Club House.

Taco Town is Closed

I'm in sevs (7 eleven) and I'm tots tots rocking my craddle robber sweater in honor of the music video!! But anyway I'm in there with gf number 2 Emma as who is to walk in the door? Mr. Michael Lohan....Lilo's Daddy! He kept staring at us but I guess that's due to the fact that I was laughing forever at the fact he was in there. Anyway we made eye contact and at that moment he said "Hey girls, your midnight snack is on me".....Which included a double bean double cheese burrito!! Score...if only he could give us one of 30 of lindsay's coke dealers numbers and we would have been set for the night!

I'm Like in a Music Video

Absolut Vodka hired New York's sleaziest hunks, Team Facelift, to make a music video for them. We bought a bunch of drugs, invited a whole brunch of freaky weirdos we know, and BOOM! History was made.

Check it out.http://absolut.com/en/iaaw/visionaries/facelift


I'm in it for a second but these are my boys and it's one of the best nights I had while chillin with them in a dark dank gutter . I came dressed as my infamous craddle robber...it was like being a super hero!

NYC's own Sandy Kane was there making me look like an amateur hour. Nothing kicks the sexual tension up a notch like a fog machine, raw fish guts and a battle axe.

And Then There Was The Sunrise

After several mini trips to our home base headquarters we're back in Exile Island. But the temptations of going back into the city are biting our fingertips like crazy to make up our minds. Sex,Drugs and Violence always sound better when there's a Markers Mark on the rocks waiting for you at your favorite spot as your favorite people are around. "But the time has come" the Walrus said. We must avoid dangerous territory just a little longer until the cement dries in the quicksand pit....Pictures shall be up sooner then later...kisses