The Old People Smell Without The Old People

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.


Ever Want To Own A Mini Old Person? Someone That's So Fragile And Dependent On You For Everything? These Little Sloth Buddies Are Soooo On My Celebrity Christmas List. Two Toed Sloths Are The New African Baby.

Grown Ass Man Shit

Smokers Voice?
Check
Loose Tank Tops?
Check
Team Facelift In The Building?
Check

It's Hard For Me Not To Get Moist.

Thanks For Giving

I'm Going To Be Writing Blogs About Giving. Especially Entertaining Stories About Oral Sex. If You Have Stories,Techniques, First Time Horror Tales And More To Share I'd Like To Hear Them. Shoot Me An Tweet @DaddyIssues Your Emails & Story. Your Entry Will Be Anonymous And In A Few Months We'll Vote On The Best Story We Received. Get It?

Snow White Blows

When You Think Of Snow White She's Beautiful And Sweet. But Any Bitch That Can Wonder The Forest And Just Move Into The First Dodgey Cabin She Finds Is Kinda Skanky Yet Resourceful.She'll Clean Your House To Avoid Detection From Her Old Step Mother.....And The One Time She Accepts A Gift From A Stranger It Kills Her? Whack. You Should Always Trust Strangers With Treats.

American Harry Potter

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Man Of My Dreams

Gomez Addams Is My Perfect Dream Man. He's Really Involved With His Family, He Has His Own Graveyard, Simple French Phrases Makes Him Harder Then The SATS And He's Always Dressed Like A True Hunk. Gomez Knows How To Dance,Fight And I'm Almost Positive He Could Win A Dance Off Against JT.

Not Only Is Gomez Loaded, His House Is My Wet Dream Of Secret Passages And Water Slides. Luckily For Him I'm Into Bondage And He Can Tease Me As Much As He Wants. Like Most Of My Exs He Seems Like He Hasn't Slept In Decades And Smokes A Lot. I Just Have To Learn The Tango And Kill A Lot Of Roses To Gain His Affections.

Tribute To The Slam Pigs

I Dedicate This To The Faggalas.....Enjoy My Tribute To My Slampigs......

Oh And If You Love This Song You Should Download 6 Grams By Team Facelift....If You Read My Blogs You Should Have Downloaded It Weeks AGO!

You Had Me At Suck My Cock

This Romantic Comedy Looks Terrible & Predictable Based Off It's Previous Trailers. Anne Hathaway Obvious Has Cancer And Jake's Penis Cures It. I Mean He Did Fix Reese Witherspoon And Ruined Kristin Dunst With That Dong So I'm Going To Assume It's Magical. The Fact My Mother Hates His Guts Means I Have To Dye My Hair Blonde Move To LA. Get A Jogging Habbit With My Dog In That Canyon Everyone Goes To, So We Can Bang And He Can Make My Troubles Go Away. Or I'll Become The Next Britney Spears Circa 2007...Again.


But With All This Penis Talk In This Trailer.....I'm In There Like Swimwear.

Even When He's Sneaking Out He's Smiling

Don't Be Afraid To Do This To My Face

Love and Other Drugs - Exclusive Red Band Trailer - Watch more Movie Trailers

I'm Just A Fucked-Up Girl

I Am The Charlie Sheen Of Bridgehampton

Just When You Think Charlie Sheen Has Cleaned Up His Act Something Goes Wrong. Like His Mercedes Is Found At The Bottom Of A Cliff, Or The Day He Launches His Children's Clothing Line His Soon To Be Ex Wife Leaks His Sexual Habits To TMZ Or His Other Mercedes Gets Stolen And Found At The Bottom Of Another Cliff, Or His Terrible Show Got Picked Up For Another 5 Seasons Or Heidi Fleiss Named 14 Of  Her 78 Crazy Parrots Charlie.

YET Even With ALLLLLL Of That. He's Still Making Bank. Like Serious Bank. Not Even The Whole Cast Of Like All The CSI Shows Make As Much Money As You DO Charlie. I Heard His Show's Ratings Doubled After This Latest Porn Star Locked In A Closet Thing. Very R. Kelly Of You By The Way Charlie. Regurdless.

I Don't Hold This Againist Him. I'm Pretty Sure Him And I Could Be Really Good Friends Some Day. But I Doubt Either Of Us Will Be Living For That Much Longer. But People Like Us Are Kinda Like Cockroaches Or Nikki Sixx. We Live Forever Except For The Exception For Corey Haim That Was A Low Blow For The Monster Living Under A Bridge Theory.

In Conclusion

As Much As I Want To Change And Make The Progress To Change Something Out Of My Control Will Happen.

I Just Hope Someone Will Stop Stealing My Mercedes And Driving Them Off Cliffs.

Fresh Sliced Deli Meats

The Midget & The Mogul

Thank Chelsea Handler For This Little Duet

Pussy Willow

I'm With CoCo Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Cocaine?

Cock & Balls

Whip My Halloween