I Hate Katherine Heigl. From Her Shitty Attitude, Her Career Choices And Her All Around Demeanor. She Reminds Me A Lot Of Other Women I Know. Successful Cunts That Have Self Entitlement Issues. She Withdrew Her Name From The Emmy Race A Few Award Seasons Back....What A Big Smelly Fuck You To Her Bosses. Her Only Saving Grace Recently Was When I Found Out She Had A Secret Adopted Chinese Sister. I Mean I Think It's Awesome She Applied Her Stardom To A Great Cause Over The Holidays To Get Children Adopted....But I'm Not Sure If This Is Career Control, Backpedaling Jargon. Where Was This Chinese Sister When She Won Her Emmy As Dr. Izzy? I'm Too Lazy To Google Because I Don't Want To Give Her Credit For Anything Nice.
Now Oliva Munn Is Becoming THAT Annoying To Me. Not Only Did She Blow Up Her Spot About Justin Timberlake, But Wrote An Autobiography About Her Whore Climb Up The Fame Tree. Disclosing A Night With Bret Ratner....Something Involving Jerking Off And A Baby Shrimp. She Didn't Use His Name But After The Book Came Out Brett Kinda Went Batshit Ballistic. After Meeting Brett This Summer.....I Can Tell He Has A Thing For AZNs So This Could Be True. I've Had Plenty Of Weird Nights With Overweight Jewish Men Involving Shellfish. Luckily For Them I've Been Drinking My Emotions For Years And Can't Remember Major Details. My Girlfriends ON The Other Hand....Remember EVERYTHING. That's What SLOREBAGS ARE FOR. So When You're ROLE Model Is Found In A Dumpster Outside Anchor...The Police Have A Better Idea Of Why I'm Dismembered Covered In Whale Sperm.
This Isn't About Me And My Future Fate As A Dead Hooker....This Is About How Oliva Munn Is Becoming A Wretched Dick Narc. Now She's Giving Half AZN Babes A Bad Name Being Sucha Salty Slut. The Fact She's Wrote A Book Makes Me Soooo Angry. She Is Beautiful And Funny-Ish But I Personally Feel Like She's Counting Her Eggs Before They Hatch. She Hasn't Had Any Career Changing Roles. She Has Some Romantic Comedy Of A Flop Coming Out Soon, Her Cameo In Date Night Infuriates Me Like The Week Before My Period...I'm Dreading It Yet I'm Thinking What If My Ovaries Decide To Work And I Have Chester The Molesters Butt Baby Growing In Me. I'm Confused, Frustrated, Asking Myself How Did I Get Here???
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| Don't Get It In My EYES! |
I Used To Like The Idea Of Olivia Munn. A HOT HOT HALF AZN That Chats Up Nerds About Star Wars On A Cable Channel That Caters To Only Gamers. That's Like My Dream Gig. But Then I Only Kept On Hearing Stupid Shit About Her. From Fucking Chris Pine,Justin Timberlake And Brett Ratner. Her One Show Got Cancelled And I Haven't Seen Her In Any Current Projects Besides The Male Stripper Movie With Channing Tatum. That's Right Ladies. This Future Gem For The Personal Pink Phone Sessions Late At Night Is A Biopic Based Of Channing's Stripper Years. I Find Both Gay And Straight Strippers To Be Really Hot So I Might Have To Illegal Download This Movie. Because I Will NOT Give Olivia Munn A Dime Of My Hooking Money. NO SIR.
Currently Olivia Is Rocking The Big Girl Bob That's A Popular Trend In Hollywood. The "I Want To Be Taken Seriously Hair Cut" Is Making It's Rounds With Miley, Katy Perry, Cameron Diaz And KATHERINE HEIGL! Nothing Says I'm Trying To Serious Like A Bob. It's The "My Hair Is Too Short To Be In A Ponytail So I Don't Give Head Hair Cut" The "I'm Not A Crazy Slut, Look At How Serious I Am".......
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| I'm Your Kids Role Model |
So Now Katherin Heigl Is Struggling To Get Her Career Back To Where It Was When Knocked Up Came Out. Did You Know She's In The Lowest Grossing Movie Ever Made? Did You Also Know Her Most Current Movie Is Offering An Online Deal With Groupon?? I Shit You Not My Lovelies. She's Struggling To Keep Her Career Alive Because Her Shitty Attitude Has Gotten Her Nowhere.
Now Katherine Could Easily Do A Sexy Photo Shoot To Get Her Male Fans Back...But She's A Married Mom. Her Future Conservative AZN Daughter Doesn't Want A SLUTZO For A Mom. Plus Her Posing Naked Won't Gain Her Female Fans Back. My Advice? Well Her Action Comedy Is A Start. I'd Suggest Going Back Into Sci-fi. Aliens,Vampires,Zombies These Have Strong Fan Bases And You're Career Is A Milk Dud.
Olivia's Problem? She's Unrealateable To Other Women. BOO HOO I'm Too Hot To Keep Justin Timberlake Happy Sexually. Only You And Kate Hudson Have This Problem. I'm Pretty Positive Rihanna Had More Sex With Justin Then Both Those Women Combined. RiRi Likes The Crazy Shit...
Olivia Comes Off Really Bitchy, Annoying And Acts Like She's Better Then You. I'm Sure If We Were Friends In Real Life I'd Love This Bitch. We'd Have A Gaggle Of Gays Sit Around A Bustling Cafe And Shit Talk About Fashion,Sex And Dick Size. But I Can't Imagine That While She's Being So Fucking Annoying.
So This Whole Bret Ratner Thing Has Catapulted Her Career. She Narced. It's One Thing If Betty White,Carrie Fischer Or Liz Taylor Came Out With A Tell All Book. They've Had Decades Long Careers. I Bet 75% Of Americans Have NO IDEA Who She Is. Like If Sophia Bush,Kristen Bell Or Rachel Bilson Wrote Books About Their Lives....I Doubt I'd Even Read The Title Page. The Idea Is Just Straight Up Bonkers. Now That There's This Publicized Feud Between Her And The Tower Heist Director There's A Buzz Behind Her Name. But Her Publicist Finally Spoke Up And Told Her To Stay Mum On The Topic. WOW And She Listened? Shocking. At This Point She Should Just Stay Quiet About EVERYTHING Until Her Press Tour For Her Magic Mike Movie. Because You're Beyond Annoying In My Scrapbook Of Actresses That Urk Me.
