Tonight?

So New Years Really Has No Meaning To Me. Honestly I Get SOOOOO Uncomfortable Around Other DRunks. I Need To Be The Sloppiest Person In The Room. I Feel Like I'm The AZN Snooki Sometimes And I'm In Need Of My Vinny. Omg

Story Number One: The Bathroom Scene In This Music Video Is My Life In 2006. I'll Blow Up My Own Spot. Sorry Bobby.

Story Number Two: My Former Roommate Had Sex Withy Vinny From The Jersey Shore In A Club Bathroom.

Story Number Three: I Will Pay For A Picture Of DJ PAULY D'S Dick. Or A Tasteful Drawing Of It. I Want To See What Kind Of Dick Piercing He Has. He's Literally The Man Of My Dreams. High Maintenance, Tan, Straight Teeth And If The Washing Machine Was To Ever Break Down I Have His Rocking Abs To Do My Whites On.

By Whites I Mean My Teeth. BAHAH Just Kidding. I Never Use Teeth.

Anyway Friends I Want To Wish You All A Happy New Year. I Really Could Give A Fuck But It's A Great Excuse To Text EVERYONE In My Phone Because I'm A Sad Little Puppy That Needs Massive Amounts Of  Attention.


THERE'S NOTHING MORE AMERICAN THEN FUCKING IN A BATHROOM STALL IN NEW YORK CITY- @DaddyIssues