My 25 things

1) I hate Cheerleader, Dancing, Basketball and Meg Ryan Movies.

2) I tried being sober. It only lasted 15 full days. Then I went to a Blood St show and drank and drank and drankkkkkkkkk.

3) I've only had sex standing up twice. It might have been in a shower.

4) "I'm gonna take you back to my bunk bed" is probably the best line ever.

5) I know someone with BUTT Implants and Yes she is Asian. Every time I see her, My eyes go straight to her Ass.

6) I weep ever so softly every time I hear the Into to Mixed Emotions by Team Facelift.

7) Clear Heels Make My Clit Harddddddd.

8) Real Talk I was in a tattoo parlor on St. Marks ready to get a Team Facelift Tattoo but the Receptionist STRAIGHT Up wouldn't let me because Jesse Zorski was Wreaking Of Booze from the Night Before......

9) I cry during the movies a League of Their Own and Beaches (yeah that Bette Midler Jump Off)- Not gonna lie that's tots homo

10) My favorite thing to do on a nice afternoon is to heckle all the squatters at Tompkin Square with 50 cent Hj's.....then go to St. Dyphenous with Emily, Ryland and Jason and make jokes about How Cheap I Am as Prozzy.....

11) I cooked pork fried rice naked for these two dudes once at 5 am. The next morning I totally found a huge chewed up piece of blue wringley gum in the wok and I had oil burns on place that Most Defitnetly Does Not Enjoy Extreme Heat.

12) My Older Brother Was Given the American Name Tom. Now Both my Sisters are Engaged to Or got Knocked up by Dudes name Tom. I refuse to Date Guys with That Name.....

13) My Goal In life is to Marry Danilo Gallinari. He's tots 6'10" and I'm pretty sure Italian sounds better when there's a balled up dirty sock in his mouth.

14) Emily Ott is always Awful. She also is the one that taught me how to say "Penis in my Vagina" in 12 languages....THANKKS

15) One of my older sister used to make dog food cakes for our dogs and then she'd make me "try it" first........BITCH jk

16) My favorite part of Holiday Parties is when My Mom Takes off her Bra.

17) The first time I went back To Thailand I had a Buzzcut. All my relatives made me show them my Cash and Prizes to prove I was a girl. Years Later Doctors Discovered this was the root of majority of My Penis Envy Issues.

18) Jason Bartnett farted in my face once when my mouth was open....Let's just say I never vomitted like that before that night.

19) I have Serious Daddy Issues.

20) Monica Lewinsky is my Hero

21) My Mom Lost me in Japan once. Well it was Epcot Japan. But still it was New Years 2000 and I get mad bad panic attacks ....I'm like a gazelle when it sees a Lion...I just bugg out and cry...

22) I was 6 years old when I tried my first cigerette. My older sister said she punched me if I didn't.

23) I was raised by 5 Angry Asian Woman....in the Only Irish Pub-Thai Food Restaurant in the Tramptons.......(that's me in a nutshell)

24) I had sex in the VIP Lounge at La Playa....Thankfully I wasn't alone that time. Oh yeah the Dj was totally staring at me the whole time.....

25) When I was 17 I came back from Thailand with 8 extra Piercings and a massive Back Tattoo that got me written off Chinda's Will....But It gave me a Great Reason To Flash My tits at Parties Senior Year.....a) because I had nothing to lose b) my nipples were made cute with jewelery and c) I had to do something to distract people from the fact I just tazered them with the tazer gun I smuggled from Bangkok d) Did i mention my nipples were pierced? Omg they were so much cuter then. But now my nipples are like crazy sensitive and Sometimes I pinch other people's nipples so they'll pinch mine back....strictly at Tranny Bingo tho.