Lemme Explain Myself I Grew Up Watching Hours Upon Hours of Television. The Only True Use Is If I Entered Thousands Of Open Bar Trivia Matches Or Some vh1 Show Hosted By NY1's Pat Kiernan
Regardless Here Are Some Of My Likes and Dislikes Of Nickelodeon Shows. One of My Major Idols Was Clarissa Darling. Played By The Current Dancing With The Stars Contestant Melissa Joan Heart,She Captured My Heart With Her Crazy Outfits,Her Annoying Younger Brother Ferguson,Her Pet Alligator Elvis,Her Peeping Tom Of a Best Friend Sam....He'd Use a Ladder To Enter The Darling's Home. The Clanking Of His Heavy Ladder Still Gives Me Chills To This Day of Hopes a Young Prepubescent Boy Is Breaking and Entering Into My Home.....Clarissa Had Those Chili Pepper Christmas Lights Around Her Room and Sometimes Created Awesome Video Games Using Her Friends and Families as The Characters.....BOTTOM LINE SHE WAS PRETTY AWESOME!
But Melissa Joan Hart's Other Long Term Show Really Sucked After Her Character Went To College. Like Most Teen Shows Your Favorite Character Stays In High School For 6 years But You Don't Really Notice Until Your like Totes in 10th Grade and You And Sabrina Are In The Same Classes That You Realize Something Is Up. Sabrina
The Show Was Oringally About a Teenage Girl That's Banished To Live With Two Of Her Cooky Aunts. Oh Yeah She Discovers On Her 16th Birthday She's a Witch and Her Black Cat Salem Can Talk (Or He's an Exiled Wizard Transformed into a Cat). This Was Show Was a Spin Off of a Movie Also Starring Hart But The Show Became a Slapstick Sitcom With Tv Movie Spin-off and Cartoon Series. After Sabrina Visits Rome (Like Lizzie Mcquire and The Olsen Twins)The Storylines Got Extremely Stale and Then She was Off To College. Hiding Her Secret From Her New Friends All The While Her Aunt's Are Still Around and That Dumb Cat...
Sabrina Is Also Joined By Other Actors That Have ALLLLL Been IN Other Unsuccessful Tv Shows. Now As a 14 year old I'm Suppose to Accept That These 30 somethings Are 18 years old? David Lascher(He Looks Like a Someone You'd Buy Drugs From in Boston Right?),Elisa Donovan(She Gave Me My 1st Redhead lady Boner),Soleil Moon Frye(Totes Had Her Boobs Reduced at 15) Just To Name a Few....You Might Recognize Them as Amber From Clueless and Punky Brewster (Another Idol Of Mine)
Sabrina Goes To College Is an EPIC FAIL in MY Book!
A Show That I Still Love Til This Day Is About a Young Australian Wallaby That Moves To America In Search For Friendship, Love and The American Way. His Adventurous Days of Doing Laundry,Going to The Beach and Camping Have Shaped Me Into The Fully DisFunctional Human Being I Am Today. The Creators Of Rocko's Modern Life Have Had Major Success With a Little Show Called Spongebob Squarepants.
Rocko's Best Friend Was Hefner a Dim-witted Cow That Was Raised By Wolves. Hefner Like Myself Is a Large Kid and Lives Off Fried Chicken & Pizza And When It's Time To Look For a Missing Remote Would Scream For His Mother To Look For It. Hefner Was Apart of a Cult Dedicated To Sausages; At This Point in Time I Regret to Inform You; I too Was a Sausage Addict. The Show Was Filled With double entendres, sexual innuendos...Who Could The Nipples Of The Future That Belong To O-Town's Beloved Really Really Big Man?Rocko's Other Buddy Was a Turtle Named Filbert. He Was a Germ-a-phobe,Wig Enthusiast and Happened To Marry a Cat That Had a Hook For a Hand. She Was a Dentist and Several Different Types of Doctors. They Had Mutant Turtle Cat Babies.....The Following Clip Is Showing One Of My Favorite a Minor Characters....Did I Mention The B52's Totally Did Their Theme Song?
But One Awful Excuse of a Show Was Catdog About a Mutant Cat/Dog....AWFUL! I Hated Everything About This Show It Makes Me Angry SO FREAKING ANGRY!!! The Voices, The Animation The Story-lines AUGHHHHH...Sure I Was Way into My Tweens Years When This Show Came Out But It Was Totally Garbage. This Tormented CatDog Was Suppose to Make Children Be More Aware Of The Suffering? I Still Think It Was The WORST Show To Come out Of Nickelodeon HISTORY!
Now The Reason We Know David Lascher Wasn't Anywhere Near 18 When He Was Apart Of Sabrina Was His First Major Role On Tv Was On an Terrible Show Called Hey Dude
Did You Just Say Yippee kai aie what? It Was a Boring Show About Some New York Family That Buys This Stupid Ranch To Escape From The Stress of New York City Life....There Should Be Some Kind Of Law To Purchase an Abandon Ranch Just Because Your Parents are Bored or Stressed Out. How Many 90's Shows and Movies Start Out Like THAT? Anyway They Were Able to have one Star Come From The Show...Or Starfucker(Ben Stiller is Her Husband) Depending On How You See Her, But Christine Taylor Was on This Dead End Show
But A Show That Aired Right Before Hey Dude Was Salute Your Shorts Which was about a Summer Camp I Always Wanted To Go To....Minus The Underage Sex,The Arts & Crafts,WaterSports (Not The peeing kind) and Pranks on The Other Bunks.....Okay So The Show Had All Those Things Just Not The Sex.. Bummer....Because We all Know We Wanted To See Donkey Lips get It on...
Salute Your Shorts Was based On The Ultimate Prank....To Steal Someone's Underpants And Raise Them On The Flagpole.GOLDEN
Now If You Don't Know,I Have A HUGE Rager For Red Heads....Like Major Lady Boner Status When a Slightly Average Looking Red Head Walks Into My Life....I'm a Melted Tray Of Butter..BUTTER! Now Salute Your Shorts Had Budnick The Summer Camps Seasoned BAD ASS!...Sure Zach Morris Did Pranks Too But Budnick Was Mega Manipulative To His Fellow Campers. If You Had a Candy Stash It Was Budnick's. If You and Your Girlfriend Would Meet on The Basketball Courts To Do It At Midnight, Budnick Was There With Sponge and Donkey Lips With a Video Camera To Blackmail You For Your Rice Krispy Treat At Lunch. You Might Think You Have The Original Copy...But Oh NO He Made Copies and Mailed Them Out To Everyone's Parents....Not Only Was He a Pranking,Hicktown USA Son Of a Bitch But Had The most Luscious Red Locks I've Ever Seen On Cable Television UGHHHHHH
My Topmost Fantasy Is That He's a Meth Head Cooking Up Drugs In His Trailer Park Home With His 7 Kids......Wearing Nothing But a Wife Beater,Mitched-Matched Tube Socks and Stretched Out Boxers With a Cigarette Burns and Dirt Under His Finger Nails As He Curses When He Chemically Burns Himself While Mixing The Wrong Combination Of Powders.Can You See It? Can You Smell It? You Do? Your a Crack Face.
A Show I Have Mixed Emotions About Is AaaaaahH Real Monsters. It Was a Combination Of Tim Burton's Left over Ideas and Fraggle Rock Rejects All Stuck in a Dumpster High School, No Seriously They Went to a High School Inside a City Dump Get This in NEWARK,NEW JERSEYYYYY(Think Fred Armisen As Gov Patterson). The Show Focused On Three Monsters, Ickis Was a Crimson Red Little Bunny Like Creature. He Was Nervous,Insecure and a Terrible Scarer. Oblina is an Excellent Monster From a Wealthy Monster. She Looked Like and Upside Down Candy Cane With Huge Red Lips...Much Like Megan Fox...Her Voice Seemed Eastern European....Meaning She Was Bitchy From Time To Time and Her Buck Teeth Got Slightly Annoying As Well. Now Krumm Was a Hunk. He Was Considerably Over Weight,Short and Most Definitely Smelly Due To His Over Exposed Hairy Arm Pits Much Like My Ex Boyfriend From 2007. He Also Held His Eyeballs in His Hands;When He Needs To Use Of Both Hands He Gingerly Places Them Inside His Mouth.(How Sexual)
But Noticeably The Best Part About The Show Was Their Creep Transvestite Professor The Gromble Was this Green-Grey Beast That Had Unkempt Hair and Beard Combo and Wore a Fashionable Belt and Four Red Pumps For Each Of His Feet. He's The Type of Headmaster You Dread Seeing. He Hooks You Up To a Electric Chair Machine To Show The Class Your Last Victim.....
One Of The Best Shows With Puppets Is Eureeka's Castle...If I Had The Ability To Bare Children I Might Have Named My 1st Unwanted Kid Eureeka...She Was An Enchantress in Training That Lived in a Music Box That Belong To a Sleepy Redhead Giant....Her Creepy Castle Was Filled With Just as Creepy Characters...Sucha As Magellan, a Doofy Dragon Whose Tail Seemed to Have a Mind Of Its Own Constantly Knocking Things Over. Bogge and Quagmire(Not Family Guy),a brother and sister pair of Sesame St Rejected Monsters Known as the Moat Twins,They Spend Most of Their Time Below The Castle Eating Peanut Butter Sandwiches!!!! Then There's Near Blind Batley He's a Bat That Attempts to Fly,But Usually Crashes Into Things. Mr. Knack, Was The Castle's Rapist,He'd Sell His Own Sex Toys In His Pushcart.There Are Also Other Miscellaneous Critters Such as Mice and Singing Statue Fish & Magellan has his own pets like Cooey and the slurms,They Were Claymated Slug-Worms. Batley also has a pet spider named Webster. Because There Wasn't Enough Websters In The Late 80's?
Eureka's Castle Intro - The best free videos are right here
Ren & Stimpy Holds a Really Special Place In My Heart As It Does For Most ADD Stricken Kids I Know. This Show Followed The Misadventures Of a Chihuahua Maniac Named Ren Höek And Stimpson J. Cat a Red and White Cat. The Show Was Known For It's Crude Humor and Graphic Animation. I can Honestly Say The Indecency Learned From This Show Helped Me Become The Loud Mouth Beast That You See Before You. The Show Got a Second Go As an Adult Show On Spike Tv The Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon Didn't Have The Long Lasting Appeal As The Original But It Still Had Some Spunk.
Some Of The Best Characters Came From This Show....Remember The Muddy The Mudskipper? That Judgmental Horse? That Used Car Salesmen Guy? What About Log?Or Powdered Toast Man?
Hey Arnold! Was a Show I Hated As a Child But As a Reckless Adult I Kinda Love It. So This Still Gets an Honorable Mention as a Dislike. Arnold Was a 4th Grade Football Headed Kid With The Coolest Room Known To Mankind. He Lived in a Boarding House With His Whacky Grandparents Phil and Gertrude. There Were Copious Characters Also Cohabitating The Sunset Arms Building...Oskar Kokoshka & Suzie Kokoshka The Eastern European Couple That Bickered About Oskar's Unemployment and Laziness.Ernie Potts,The Short Sweaty and Slightly Balding Demolition Worker. Mr. Hyunh, an immigrant from Vietnam, working in a Mexican restaurant...(HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT?) Arnold's Gaggle Of Classmates Were All Charming in Their Own Right. Majority Of Them Also Had odd Shaped Heads,Like a Campbell Soup Can and a Pringles Can of Chips...His Best Friend Gerald Was This Really Dope Black Kid That Had Unbelievable Swagger and Steeze. Helga G. Pataki Is a Unibrowed Bully Who Secretly Has a Crush On Arnold. She Even Had a Shrine Of Him In Her Closet. I Mean She Doesn't Have Pillow Cases So She Must Not Be That Dedicated.Pheobe Was Helga's Best Friend and Class Book Worm..OH Yeah An ASIAN!!!! Stinky Peterson (Not a Porn Star) Was The Lanky Arkansas Boy That's Major Accomplishment Was Growing a Giant Pumpkin He Later Turned Into a Clubhouse. Eugene Horowitz Was The Class Jinx. He Was Kind Hearted But Was Always Cursed With Bad Luck. If A Man Hole Was Uncovered in the Street and He Was Riding a Bicycle and Saw It and Tried To Avoid It, He'd Most Likely Be Hit Be a Dump Truck. Sid Was a Little Rat Face Paranoid Kid, Looking Back On It Now He Was Probably a Crack Baby.....Now the Setting of This Show Is Kinda a Mystery. Majority of The Show's Run I Thought It Was New York City Or a New York City Rip Off But They Resided In Hillwood a Melting Pot Of Seattle,Portland and New York.
A Show I Could Never Get Behind Was Rocket Power. It was a Pro Active Extreme Sport Show That Revolved Around a Group Of Friends. Otto,Reggie,Twister and Squid Were Always Skate Boarding,Surfing, Snowboarding,Rollerblading and Street Hockey. I Mean COME ON..I'm Suppose To Believe All These White Kids From California Are This Talented? And NOT Stoners? YEAH RIGHT! Sure This Was Suppose To Urge Kids Being Outside Was Fun. Maybe I Was Jealous I Can't Be That AWESOME at Everything But Then Again I'm Fucking Amazing Without Those Things and I Don't Have The Scars or Half Eaten Shark Arms Either. Besides That I Hated The Animation...It Was Awkward To Watch This Show Because They Looked So Similar To The Aaaahh Real Monsters.
The Secret World of Alex Mack Was Really Cool At The Time But As I Grew Up I Hated The Main Protagonist Because She Happened To Be On Boy Meets World and Dated Sean Hunter and She Ended Up Going All Glen Close In Fatal Attractions On Him...Alex Mack Was An Everyday Average Tweenage Girl Until She Had To Get Into Some Chemical Spill Accident...(I'm Sure There Weren't Any Law Suits After That For Dumb Ass White Kids Rolling Around in Bio-Hazard Shit). She Then Gains All These Super Natural Powers Such As Turning Into Liquid Puddles,Zapping Junk With Her Fingers(I Bet That Came In Handy In College All Alone In Her Dorm)Moving Objects With Her Mind,And She Glowed When She Got Nervous. The Only Person She Could Tell About Her Abilities Was Her Sexy Best Friend Ray. The Company That Created That Chemical That Sprayed Alex Knew Some Kid Was Exposed So They Are Constantly Hunting Her Down. Oh Yeah Jessica Alba Was On The Show As a Sexy Bully....
Now I Was Always a Sucker for Mysteries. Scooby Doo Is Most Likely The Culprit For That But A Short Lived Mystery and Probably the ONLY Asian Show on Nickelodeon Was The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo. It Was Like Harriet The Spy and The Goonies Minus The Gadgets and The Pirates Gold. I Remember This One Case She Solved Where This Fat Woman Made a Copy of a Key By Using Her Chocolate Bar As a Mold....AMAZEBALLS USA! And Wax on Wax Off Pat Morita Was Her Grandpa...
I'm Not a Fan Of Shows About Brotherly Love. I'm a Chick Why The Fruck Would I Wanna See That? Especially If They Were Beavers.The Angry Beavers Were Twin Beavers That Left Home To Become Eligible Bachelors In a Forest.
Okay So I Was Kinda Lying About The Brotherly Love Shows...I Did Love The Show Pete & Pete...Okay NO I Stil Hate Brotherly Love Shows But This Has a Major Exception...It Was about Redheaded Brothers Both Named Peter!!! REDHEADS! Okay Sure They're both Total Fugs But I Loved Everything About This Show. The Older Pete Narrated Each Episode...The Younger Pete was a bitter little son of a bitch That Had a BADASS Tattoo Named Petunia.
Younger Pete's Idol Is Local Superhero Artie, The Strongest Man In The WOOOORRRRRLLLD. They're Mom Had a Mental Plate In Her Head and Could Receive Radio Waves...There's Some Major Pros & Cons But It Helped Her Find Her Husband Growing Up...He Was a Wiz With a Metal Detector. In One Episode That I Associate Major of My Wrong Choices On Was Called The Nightcrawlers.Where Neighborhood Kids Decided to Break The Adults Conspiracy By Staying Awake For 11 Days. Natasha And a Few Other Questionable Cats Were Creatures of The Night. I Recall Their Asian Friend That Would Stare At The Sun For Solar Busts. She'd Sneeze and Be Alright for Another Night of Sleeplessness. She Lapsed After a Cloudy Day Didn't Produce a Source. Natasha Was Played By The Delicious Lesbian Heather Matarazzo. Another Female Buddy Of The Pete's Was Nona Sh e Wore a Cast on Her Arm Not Because Of a Long Term Injury But Because She Loved The Itch It Would Cause Her and Scratch To Her Heart's Desire...She Was Played By Another Child Star Vet, Michelle Trachtenberg. I Don't Know If I'm Insanely Jealous That She Later Became Harriet The Spy (Or That I Truly Just Hate Her Acting Skills...I Hate Everything She Does As an Actor. But Girl Does Have Porcelain Skin and Epic Fashion Sense....So Maybe I'll Just Grow Up And Stop Hating...)
Other Characters Had Such Excellent Names Like Papercut, Draw String,Openface,Endless Mike Hellstrom, Hair Net,Neck Brace,Hat Head and My Favorite Pit Stain.
One Show I Always Wanted To Be Apart of Was Wild and Crazy Kids Hosted by Omar Gooding, Donnie Jeffcoat, and Jessica Gaynes. Gaynes replaced Annette Chavez in the second season.
The Show Was Like Assembling All Your Friends From School, Bring Them To a Park With Enough Bagged Lunches For 50 Kids and Then Handed Out Multi-Colored Tee Shirts and Wiffle Ball Bats and Buckets of Slime. They'd Play 3 Different Games an Episode And Sometimes Get "Celebrities" To Apart Take. Like The Fat Kid From Hook Or The Italian Kid From Hook Crush a Can With Their Head. Because Those Kids Were HUGE Stars In My Eyes Then!! (Frucking LOST BOYSSS) F U N F A C T : Omar Gooding Is Cuba Gooding Jr. Little Brother! Oh Yeah He Totally Had All These Weapon Charges On Him A Few Years Back and FLIPPING Donnie Jeffcoat Was a Material Witness...Once a Wild and Crazy Kid Always a Wild and Crazy Kid....Wild And Crazy For Life Bitches....I Wonder If He Had The Cast of Smart Guy There At His Trail Too!
Well Those Are Just a Few of The Shows I Had Watched Growing Up and That's Only Nickelodeon Shows....Minus Sabrina but I'll Be Following this Up With a Few more Likes and Dislikes.....
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